I tried overdosing on painkillers last year. I mixed the pills up with water to make swallowing easier, and drank so much of that stuff I couldn’t forcefully swallow any more. Naturally, it didn’t work.
My family was somewhat critical of my decision, but really just thought it was all a joke. At one point my sister had to hold herself back from laughing while I was in hospital. So I’m here now. I don’t want to be depressed, I’m not one for half measures. If I’m in school, I want to excel and live and be content, not even necessarily happy. But if I’m depressed like I am now, I want to die tonight. But I can’t try another suicide attempt if it doesn’t work. I really need something solid.
Ah well, all I’m saying is that I’m trying to get out of the ditch I’m right now. I’m hoping that posting on this site will help me recover fully, or else suicide, not a suicide attempt is the next thing to do.