That night…tall grass bathed in moonlight. The stars sparkle brightly as the North Pole’s breath travels down to where we are and dances across your cheek. Tall grass and white flowers..in that place  next to the brook and that wise old tree. We would stretch out between the roots under the spot where you carved our initials when we were young. The place where we fell in love, where you first tried to kiss me and I pulled away and ran as you chased me until i tripped over a secret root and you fell on top of me. Dear God we were only 13 and 14 years old…shy, but you kissed the bruise instead. I remember when we were 15 and 16 when we had that fight…the one that ruined everything. I told you I had to leave..that it wasnt my fault and you wouldnt bare it. You hit the old wise tree and injured your hand inches away from my head. I was frightened..so I proceeded to walk away and you chased me and put your hands to my face, blood dripped down my neck and i remember those words. “stay…please…stay…. with me” I thought i caught glimpse of a tear before you hung your head at my response. You brushed past me and walked away.
Though i see you often now with your girlfriend, I always remember seeing the broad shirtless shoulders of a boy who truly loved me. I remember letting you walk away thinking I wasnt going to be able to see you again..so when i came back 6 months later and you had a new girlfriend, I decided that I didnt want to live. I left you to take care of my grandmother and when she died anyway, i felt like a failure. I had lost the last thing I had good in my life. and now at 19 years old my feelings havent changed…im still in love with you. Being in love with you hurts more than the pain of living without you. To die would be a sweet dream..where i could fall into the blackness and dream about what could have been forever. A life that consists of nothing more or less than you being…with me.