Sigh. I get better then when I fall it’s worse than the previous worse of before if that makes any sense at all. My life is declining at a rapid rate, and I’m losing grip on myself, I know I’m going to slip very soon. My whole life, I’ve been helping other people, basically living for other people and that’s basically made me crack until now where I’ve crumbled. People expect me to be a certain way, shape me a way I can’t be shaped, and make me something I don’t want to be. I’m suppose to be perfection in an imperfect world and boy I have the imperfections, from luck to my thoughts. It never seems to get better, I take 1 step forward but then take 3 steps back in this bipolar process I guess you could call it. Sigh, oh well, vent over.