If I get to die, it won’t be of bipolar illness or depression. It will be of loneliness and regret. I blame myself for my own misery. I hate being my loving, loyal, devoted self . For all of you out there… Please don’t make that same mistake. Don’t give “your all”, you’ll wind up with nothing and broken hearted. People love those who they can’t have. Those who think of themselves first and always manage to remain a mystery and a challenge. Those who are slippery and are feared to be lost. I am telling you this because I never learned to be that person, no matter how much my intellect understood this horrible reality that no one escapes from in this world. I see a lot of posts here saying: “How could he/she, I gave him/her everything” and that’s exactly why he/she could. Giving yourself away is relationship suicide, and soon you’ll end up here, contemplating you own. I wish I could go back in time and be a cold heated selfish b**** that felt too good for anyone, but it’s too late now and I’ve way too many times been disposed of. I have no hope. Perhaps in another life there will be an angel that can hold me in his arms and never let me go.
3 comments
3 comments
I’m the same exact way. i give everything i have to someone and they spit in my face. i wish i could just be a complete heartless *****.. but i just cant, no matter how hard i try to. i used to think about dying because of it, cause i always got hurt. but i guess all i can do is learn.. but i still havnt learned my lesson. Best of wishes to you, maybe you can get the heatless thing going for you and you wont hurt anymore <3
Thanks Abselom <3. The hardest part right now is to forgive myself for not having acted the way I should have while I still had the chance and even when I had a clear understanding that I was following the steps to a certain death. Now there's no turning back. Good bye love, hello living hell of guilt and regret.
black swan we need more people in the world like, there just arn’t enough good hearted people. the world needs you.