Hey, Im first time typing here and sorry if my english isn’t good enough. But I needed to tell my story to you, because I can’t tell anyone else. It started about 2 years and 7 months ago, I met Her first time, Katy (name changed). Beautiful lady, same age as me, gold blonde hair and lovely laugh. I started to talk with her. We had fun, we went to movies, spended time together in somekind of house partys etc. Then started the bad feeling of mine..
She started to date one guy, that I know. I cried months about that. I was so much in love in her ! Later on I met Her friend Lisa (name changed) which was beautiful lady too, very nice but very quiet one. She sended me messages and called me much. We had also fun but then I fucked everything.. It was summer and was some kind of music event in our town, where Lisa was. I was way much too drunk and I wanted to talk with her. She said lets talk tomorrow, because I was so drunk. After that I said something to her, something what I shouldn’t. After that we didn’t talk very much, we didn’t see eachothers.
Some months later, I started to talk with Katy more. She wasn’t anymore dating and I was hoping, this could be my time. My friend threw a party and I was invited. Katy was also. We talked lots and had fun. But I was too drunk… again. I wanted to talk to her alone without any others in the party. We went to outside to talk and I asked would she date with me. She said no and that she is going to try again with the guy, she dated month ago. Then my world collapsed. I was so angry, but I understand. I cant make her date me. It’s her choice. But it made me angry, I started to drink more and can’t remember the evening. After that, was my real alcoholistic live beginning. I drinked almost everyday, I dont go to work because I wanted to drink. I couldn’t talk to her anymore. Less than month later, she started to date the guy who she was dating before.
Nowdays, she has broke up with the guy again. Im thinking this could be my change again, but I am scared of the answer, “no”. I can’t really live without her. I want to tell it to her but I can’t. Im really tired of this. I know she is just a one woman. One woman to you, but to me, she is everything I need in this live. I got anymore much friends, only few and I have tell this story to someone of them, and they are only saying :” you will find a woman by your side “. But I dont want anyone else. Only her.. I love you Katy ♥
I know, some people of you, who are reading this, if somebody is going to even read this, ” It’s only a girl. ” but I dont want to life my live alone. Without her. I have thinked about suicide, because I belive in live after death. Because, what would be in world when we die? I think we will born as a new person, a new man, and start a new live, with better hope..
And please, tell if you got same kind of stories, I would like to hear them. Thanks.
And by the way, kiss the rain, you should listen to the song 🙂 Its by Yiruma. It makes me always cry..
3 comments
Kiss the Rain ,
yes this could be you chance again yes! but you need to remmber DON’T DRINK!
Maybe she say yes maybe she say no! but it’s no for sure if you don’t ask! do you stand under me?
Trust me man i have my own “Katy” she completely headfucked me all over the place,( and not in a good way!) i was the friend she turned to when she was having trouble with guys (ironic) i was the friend that drunkenly told her all my feelings for her nd she said lets pretend u never said that, i was the friend who would buy her a couple of free drinks untill i realised her for what she was, a complete and utter user so i deleted her number from my phone (still know it off by heart but its the symbolicness of it) deleted her from facebook and never see her anymore, now ive a girlfriend nd im getting better… truthfully, if she asked? im not sure i wouldnt run to her, id like to say i wouldnt but… i cant.
The only thing u can do man is try nd delete her from ur life, her number nd facebook, delete the physical parts nd over time the thoughts of her wont be so frequent, shit advice man i know but its the best ive got
I understand you man. If you are really sure that she is the one don’t listen to people who say “it’s only a girl” or that there are others. I know I will never be with the love of my life and I know that I can’t ever be happy without her so I don’t even try to do something with my life anymore. I understand that you are afraid of her saying “no” but still you should try… maybe try to hang out with her, get to know her better, make her know you better… work to be the best person you can be and see what will happen. Maybe she will fall in love with you, who knows.