My Last Words.

Why must I feel emotionless? Nothing about me is real anymore. No one can see past the disguise; Fake smile, big brown eyes filled with pain. I feel empty inside the only pain I can feel anymore is the cold metal on my skin with the pain that comes along with it. I wanna just cry until it hurts but every time I feel the need too I can’t seem to find the tears. My depression is slowly destroying me; I can’t deal with this anymore, I’ve been fighting with nonstop continuous battle with my depression and I’m losing. It’s becoming worse. To the point where I try and cry myself to sleep at night with my razor in hand so I won’t commit suicide; I used at least just cry myself to sleep but I can’t even do that anymore. I feel alone, forgotten, isolated, and dead. I can barely put on a fake smile, it’s so worn out that I don’t even try to pretend. I’ve lost hope, people tell me to talk to god; I used to pray and pray for the abuse to stop, for my life to get better but it never happened all I got was a dead mother so I gave up on that. I wanna say my last words. I wanna see how many people would actually care if I died; how many tears I’d get, how many would even notice that I’m gone?