They hurt me.

Why?
I was only 5 years old. I was just a little girl. I didn’t know anything about sex or touching. But than it happened. I was at my uncles house because my mom and dad were working that night. Me and my little baby brother were sitting in my uncles lap that night. My little brother finally fell asleep. We were watching a movie, I remember the movie got to the part about the yellow brick road. My uncle put his hand down my Pj’s and put his finger in my butt. I remember it hurt really bad and I was tearing up. I didn’t know what was wrong or right! Remember I was only 5 I was just a baby girl. He said if I told he would hurt my mommy and daddy. So I didn’t tell, because I didn’t want him to hurt them.

It happened again!
I was 7 years old, playing on the playground at my Aunts. It was Easter so everyone same. We kids were all playing on the playground. Than my cousin came out. He was just watching us and than my Aunt said to come and eat. So I was about to side down the side and my cousin stopped me. No one could see us because the dog wall was there. It happened so fast. My cousin put his hand down my pants. I wanted to scream but I remember when it happened with my uncle at the age of 5 years old, my uncle said if i told he would hurt my mommy and daddy. So I didn’t scream. He was rubbing me and he told me to put my hand down his pant and to rub up and down. I did it because I was scared that he would hurt me more or hurt my mom and dad. Than he put his finger in me and It hurt so bad I wanted to scream for help. This happened for 3 years. Tell I was 7-10 years old. I didn’t want to get hurt anymore I just wanted it to stop. The big thing is I wanted to tell. But I didn’t know it was wrong tell I went into sex ed at school. When I learned about it I knew it was wrong and all I could do is go take a shower after school and cry!

Why would you do this to your little girl?
I was just 10 years old when my mom and dad got a divorce. A mouth later my dad was moving in to a different place. Me and my little brother were going to his house on the weekends.
Than I thought I was safe because the sexually abuse stop for awhile. But really it didn’t at all. It was just the start.
My little brother was watching TV. I came in and my dad was laying on the bed so I join him. I didn’t know he was doing to hurt me like everyone else did. He was under the blankets and I was on top on the blankets. Than he put the blanks over me I didn’t think it was a big deal at the time. But than he put his hand on my hip I thought it was a little weird so I moved away a little, well when I moved away he touched my butt. Than I knew something was up. He put his hand back on my hip and moved me closer to him. My brother was on the ground watching TV. I was hoping he wouldn’t look back because I knew what was going to happen. Than my dad put his hand down my pants and starting rubbing me and fingering me. All I wanted to do was cry really bad knowing it wasn’t over. So I got up and said I’m hungry and went down stairs where my cousin Ashley was. My uncle and cousins lived with my dad. The cousin the hurt me lived with him. I was scared. So that night I got in bed. We had to sleep with my dad because we didn’t have are own rooms. So when I got in bed that night my dad was taking a shower I was scared to fall asleep. But I ended up falling asleep. I felt him come to but but I fell back asleep.(This was the same day). So late the night I woke up with my dads hand down my pants. He started pulling them down but I picked them back up. Than she stopped I started crying.
I cried every time I was in the shower. I didn’t want him hurting my mom or little brother. So I didn’t tell.
When my dad move in with my grandma and grandpa again that was the worse place my dad hurt me.
He got on top on me one night and pulled down my pants and tried to put it in my I didn’t look because I was so scared. I turned away and he go off me. My little brother was at my moms because he wanted to go to a birthday party.
Than is got worse the next weekend. My dad pulled down my pants that night. My brother was there this time but he was always sleeping my dad always did it late at night. When my dad pulled my pants down that night in tried to put it in me again, but i closed my legs. The she put his penis in my butt. I wanted to scream it help so bad. I was scared I didn’t want to remember anything so I tried forgetting in. Than one night my brother was in the other room I was sleeping and my dad came in. He flapped me over on my back and put his finger in me than after he ended up putting his penis in me. It hurt so bad. I wanted to get away but I knew I wasn’t strong enough. I was only 83 pounds.
The summer time we went camping with my dad and cousins. My dad wanted me to sleep in the same tint with him and everyone else had there own. That night my dad flapped my over and pulled my pants down and he went down and turned around and started licking me and and he made me suck his penis. I was so scared all I wanted was it to all stop.
I cried everyday. I wanted to die. I started cutting and saying to myself what did I do wrong for them to do this to me. I thought I did something wrong for all this to happen to me.

But than my dad got a girlfriend and it stopped. When they got a house together she wouldn’t be there sometimes because her mom was really sick.
On the Friday night we were at my dads, my dad said you can come sleep in my bed because I know you have a bad back. I said “NO” because I knew was he was going to do.

I’ve been so scared of everything because there people hurt me.