Thinkin back on things..

so here i am last night layin in bed thinkin as usual..cant ever clear my head..i started thinkin..maybe it was my fault..maybe i lost him because i didnt stop him when he was walking out of my drive way the last time we fought..now that i lost him i wish i would have stopped the fights we got into to as soon as they would start..i wish i would have been the bigger person and told him to knock it off when he would be pissy with me..i wish i would have took advantage of the time i had with him..the times he was over or i went over there when he would hold me..I should have stopped it all I should have fixed the relationship..maybe things would still be okay if i would have made things alright..maybe i wouldnt be harming my self kuz of the pain i go thru because i lost him..if i could just hear i love you one more time from him..if he could just hold me…..one more time….