When My Life Took a Wrong Turn

It all started off good, until the bullying started. There was this guy Clayton who I was dating for a few months. I broke up with him because all I wanted to do was focus on school and not boys, it was not for a bad reason but that’s what he probably thought. He seemed alright with it so there was no hate.

          After Christmas break I returned to school and Clayton started a lot of rumors about me. I felt terrible and it felt that no one liked me, like I had no friends anymore. I was being called names, and just getting harassed. This was a bad moment for me, I was actually scared.

          But then, this other guy came along, he protected me and no one was bothering anymore. We began to date and that’s when the bullying started again from Clayton. It seemed to be getting worse, I just tried to ignore it.

The guy that I began to date had spent the weekend with me and my family, and we had a good time. On Sunday I and my mom drove him back to the dorms at school. On the way to the school he was not talking to me or smiling. I was kind of scared that I had said or did something wrong to make him feel down. Once we dropped him off we headed home right away.

 I began to text him. I said “what is wrong?” and he said “nothing”.  I began to think that he was going to break up with me. He never replied until I got home and the message said “we should not be together” I was so heartbroken that I was speechless. I then said “why” he replied “idk” and at that point I knew he just didn’t want to be with me. I said nothing to my mom or sisters, so I went straight to my room and cried myself to sleep.

The next day was Monday; I was not in the mood to go to school. I felt scared, sad, and lonely to go to school. So I told my mom “I don’t feel good, my tummy is bothering me” she said “I’ll let you stay home for today only”. I felt relieved. I only said this because I was scared of the bullying and sad from the break up. I knew if I went back to school I would just get picked on.

That morning that I stayed home I watched TV, and my parents went to town to shop. They seemed to be gone for hours; I was lonely and had no one to talk to at that time. I did not know what to do. I sat on the couch under a blanket crying. All the bullying that had been going on came to my head and made me feel worthless to be in this world. I got up from the couch, went to the bathroom, got a blade, went to the medicine cabinet, and got 10 aspirin pills. I took 10 pills, sat down and began to cut my left wrist. Every five minutes I went to that cabinet and took 10 pills. I took at least 50 aspirins in 25 minutes.

My parents returned home, I felt them sit me on the couch and my mom said “what happened? What did you do?” while my dad was picking up aspirins, a shaver, and a knife off the floor. My vision was blurry, my body was cold, and I was shaking. My parents rushed me to the hospital and I stayed there for two days.

After two days from being there I was sent to a place in Albuquerque to help prevent suicide. I was there for a week, it was horrible. When a week had passed my mom and dad went to pick me up. I was so happy to see them, I cried in their arms. They told me how they missed me, how my sisters were crying for me, how they wouldn’t know what to do if I had passed away, and how they were crying every night for me.

I was out of school for 2 weeks, but when it was time to go back I was nervous, and scared. Once I went back I felt myself and like a new person.

I never knew it would have got to this point to attempt suicide but I am glad I survived. Hurting yourself will not take the pain, anger, depression, or bad thoughts away.