Why am i still here?

After coming home from school, my ride dropped me off at my sisters smoothie shop. There my sister barely talked to me, and barely made any eye contact with me. I tried acting normal and trying to talk to her,but she wouldnt say anything.  I sat at one of the tables ani took out my books to do my homework. My sister said someing and i didnt hear her so i asked her to  repeat it. Then she started to say all this shit about me. She started saying things such as, youre a disgrace, im embarrassed to call you mysister, youre inresponsible,  and you ruin everyones lives?honestlty, if im such a burden , why am i still here?  My own father hasnt even tried to communitcate with me for the past 4 years. But he still calls my brother and my sister and ask how theyare. I havent had a birthday call from him in over 4 years, yet he still calls my sister ad my brother. Whats wrong with me?  Why doesnt my dad love me?  Why do my  older siblings treat me differently? Why am i still here?  My mother is tired of me and wants to send me off with my dad , but not even my ownfather wants me..