To those who are reading this, unlike many people , god has given me everything, it just that i have ruined everything. God gave me caring wife, adorable daughter, decent job, great future potential but………………….it is me who has been destroying my own life …………i have no one else to blame but my ownself. i have destroyed my future and the future of my kid. i have gambled away my life. i feel dead already. cant write more. i have been avoiding killing self many times, partly coz i have been too scared, partly coz of my kid. but i feel my death will be more benificial than me living for my loved ones.
i am sorry for being so irresponsible …………i am sorry. i love u dear daughter …i am sorry.
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Don’t kill yourself. Your daughter doesn’t need to live her life without a dad. My dad was never there for me and still isn’t. I’m 14 and my dad chose drugs over me. He still does actually. He fucked me up so much. I needed him when he wasn’t there. Now I’m the one wanting to end my life. Your daughter needs you in her life. For her sake, just stay alive. Believe me, you don’t want her to end up like me.
Yeah. My dad died when I was 3 due to cancer. A daughter needs her dad.
i m sorry………i am sorry ………………i am sorry…………..i m so sorry for being so irresponsible…………i cant forgive myself anymore………
Don’t choose death over your daughter. You can still be a good father.
Don’t choose death before it chooses you… life won’t forgive you.
thanks mayhem,prppease,hot……for being there ……….., i wish i can cry……….
Why can’t you cry, amit?
if feel dead peace………i feel so much pain….feel sinking ……………i wish someone just caress my head and tell me everything will be fine ……………………………………….but i know ….NOTHING IS GONNA FINE….anymore….
Everything will be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end.
My dad died 2 years ago. He was a heavy smoker, Addicted to crack and was an alcoholic.
My whole life he was all 3 of these things.
Now he’s dead and I’m here. on a suicide website.
Get yourself help. Fix yourself. Don’t leave your daughter without her daddy. Wether she admits it or not, she will always need her daddy.
My dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up. It taught me a lot of things about what not to do as a parent. But I realize now that it was a disease. If he hadn’t been a bad father to me when I was younger then I could never compare him to the great father he is to me now. I know that despite his shortcomings and his addiction that he loves me more than anything and would do anything for me. You believe that by taking yourself away from this world that it will be a better one for your daughter and wife. Well that just isn’t true. There is no such thing as a cookie cutter life, you have experienced that first hand having all these wonderful things in your life that many would beg to have. My best friend’s father committed suicide when I was a senior in high school because he was stealing drugs from the pharmacy he worked at and his boss found out. He thought he would not embarrass her and her family found him dead the next morning. Now, every time someone mentions their father or hers you can watch her face break a little more. No, he wasn’t a superhero father but was dad is? Parents need to realize that kids don’t have expectations for their parents because we don’t know them yet. Parents are the ones who fall short in their eyes. Hell, when I was a little girl I would just be happy to see my dad at any time of the day. He may not be the superhero that is in the comic books but he was my superhero and that is all that mattered. Your daughter will forgive you for gambling and any other pain you feel you have inflicted on your family. But she won’t forgive you for missing her father daughter dance, or for making her walk down the aisle alone, or for not spoiling her kids someday. A daughter needs a father, no matter what shape, color or size they come in. You may want to give up on yourself, but don’t give up on her. Let the love you have for your daughter fuel you to be all you can be for her. Be her superhero once again.
@ thanks …….i am alcoholic…..depressed, ….addicted to gambling ….heavy smoker…………..it seems you have shown my future ………death anyway……….
if i survive these moments of extreme depression and situation…………and do not let go and jump off in next few days……i will seek professional help to “fix” myself…….thanks …..i am sorry ……..i love my daughter too much thats why i feel killing myself for being so irresponsible……….
Please don’t kill yourself.
Please……
When I’m at school and people talk about there dads , it breaks me that little bit more.
He won’t be at my wedding (if I get married). He won’t get to meet my kids(if I have any) he won’t see what I become (probably a crack whore) .
He fucked my life up, because of how he acted. I loved him tho, he was my dad. And it tears me apart that he’s gone.
Sorry, I’m no good with words.
Just please don’t kill yourself. Try to get better, get help. For your daughter. Please ?
How old is she ?
she is turning 6 today.
Aw, she’s only little.
She won’t even remember any of this, as long as you change for the better now.
Don’t give her the life I had with my dad. Be there for her and love hr
thanks S , u made me realise even if i dont deserve to live ………….i must give future my best shot …..coz my daughter is gonna need me ……………i will try to fix myself……….thanks ……thanks a lot………probably you saved one dad …..at least for few days ……today i cannt say anything concrete coz i have lost faith in me……
I’m glad I could help. If you feel like this again, email me.
Sophieprincess2419@yahoo.com
Seriously, if you stay strong throughout this tough period… your family will likely become closer and happier in the long term… and you’ll have fewer regrets that way…
Amit, please get help. Nothing in life is insurmountable. You can get through this. It will take guts, but you can get through this hard time. If you kill yourself, you will leave your daughter and wife, parents, and all who love you with the most horrible burden. I know you hurt, and I know you think this makes sense, but it will do only one thing: put you out of your misery. But that misery you are feeling will not be carried by so many people for the indefinite future. My son acted impulsively and took his own life at 19. He was beautiful, brilliant, and beloved by so many. He had an amazing future–was going to one of the top schools in the world…all true I promise. But he did this act, and now we are all so heartbroken. he left his brother alone, an only child. We are left here. I ache so much, but I can’t leave this earth. I have to stay here for the people I love. Be brave and be honest. Go to someone you love and trust, and say, “I have screwed up horribly. I am so overwhelmed, I have considered suicide. But I want to make things right, and I need some help.” Over time, you will work yourself out of this bad situation. Your daughter deserves you, and she definitely does not deserve to carry the burden of her father’s death. Children of parents who kill themselves struggle so much with the questions of why (we all wonder this) but also think that they were not good enough or lovable enough for their parent to stay here. PLEASE get help. I know you can do it. Be brave, be tough, and be honest. It will get better, and one day you will see your daughter graduate from high school and more–and you will be there to celebrate with her. Good luck and Godspeed.
thanks @lost…, i am shattered, broken, feel my heart is at the bottom of ocean…..feel sunk………i admire each of you here taking time out and trying to help me……….to get out of this mental state………….i just want to share @lost…. that mind stops thinking ……..it gets numb, it stops to understand reasoning and logic., repurcussions……there is only feeling of sinking …sinking ….hopelessness …..and burden of living………..now i understand why people are able to kill self.
i am not your son….but, you made me realise how my mother will suffer………which i know…..but coping this sinking ….sinking …..feeling is something…….a problem……i am not able to sleep ….and mind is numb……fillied with guilt and remorse only…….but thanks , i wish i get your hug …………i remember ..when i was kid…..i used to hold the finger of my dad to cross the road…………………………….i wish …i never grew up …..i screwed up……….massive…anyway…you know and i know…..i am on the brink………..given all the people who wished me to be stronger……i just waana say…..in this mental state ….all i can say is that i will live today…….. will come back again …..to see you here…..and ofcourse if my sinking heart stops beating on its own thats a different matter.
too much pain………sinking heart …………..it feel as if someone is puting a knife to my heart…….
amit, i’ve been there! i know how you feel! you didn’t do it on purpose and now you feel traped you let everyone down and it’s a mountain to climb to fix it! well your a man dammit! you aren’t going to let them down! you are going to fix the problem! and learn your lesson! and be there for your daughter and wife! pull yourself together! stop thinking it’s impossible! it’s not show your wife and daughter how tough you really are! you are tough! it may take some time but you will turn things around when they see how hard your trying they will respect you everyone pulls a boo boo even big ones! so…….. roll up your sleeves and fight! nobody needs to die because of money! you came in this world broke and naked now your just broke your ahead already turn it around and make it back! time to fight!!! fight!!!! fight!!! i’ve done it a few times myself. i’m doing it now! i’ve had my bad moments but positive thinking and little by little you become stronger and stronger go get them tiger! errooowww!!!!
thanks roket and everyone ….you are helping me but this depression is serious…..pulling me down …………dont know from where to start……..puting things back together …….real life issues are staring at me………..need to take care of school fee, bills , debt ………………..as soon as i think of these ……i again get into abyss……why did i destroyed the beautiful life i had………………..i hate me
Amit, I can tell that you really love your family, and it’s inspiring. The others are right, you need to fight, and the pain you may escape through suicide will not truly disappear, but will be passed to your family. Perhaps you need reminding of something that many of us on this website have learned: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You have a family! Families share not only in success, but in failure as well. Let them be your anchor as you wish to be theirs once again. Good luck friend.