Many of you have seen me here.
And what really can be said. If I could right now, I’d take my own life because there seems to be no light at the other end. I’m flat it seems like with no emotion and I hate that feeling. I’ve gone through a lot in my life, not as much as some on here, but I’ve got demons I live with every day and don’t know how to take it anymore.
So why do I write? No idea. I guess just to say, I’m tired of it? That I live through life alive but dead? And that I’m a lonely kid just trying to find someone to understand? I don’t know anymore.
I used to love music so verry much and I still do, but even now it seems I’ve lost interest.
I’d ask for a method here, only noone can give me one haha.
(If anyone wants to hear any of the music I play, (be warned it’s depressing, ask)
Ok, I’m done writing.
2 comments
Depression interferes with the dopamine receptors , thats why you don’t enjoy music the way you did. I love music to, but can’t even open iTunes the will to do it like living is fading out of me, for now.
So you are looking for someone to understand? I do. Some of it.
There’s plenty that understand. Too many in fact.
Here’s a secret, maybe you already figured it out, but a lot of ‘us’ who
understand, want to avoid acknowledging what we know, about ourselves
and about those hollow eyes that meet ours and echo our in inner sorrows.
If we can play ignorant, wear our smiling mask, maybe we can get through
another day without staring back in to the void.
Keep writing music. If you find you can’t focus on the positive, write the
absurd, write the perverse, copy some random words from your area
as a distractive exercise. The “i’m bored, unhappy, worthless” thought pattern
is as habitual as “Exotic Tattoo Beer Barn Coffee Shop Love Machine” or
otherwise being compulsively poetic.
Ok I’m done lecturing. Lol
Rock on!
i’d love to hear your music.