I don’t know what’s happening with my feelings. I don’t feel lonely, but started to hate everyone . I imagine bad things about people around me. It makes me feel gloomy. Then I want to stop that kind of thoughts, so I start thinking about suicide. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to disappear and forget my current life.
Every day I try to say positive words to me that everything will be okay. My friends will back, I will forget  the pain I have,  I will be happy etc.. However, I started do not believe. I don’t know how much time I’m going to live, but I will try to protect my body. Althought it’s getting harder I don’t want to give up. Not now.