Im 17 years old,I’m losing hope in my life. i don’t think i can hold it much longer from past 7 weeks i have been getting the idea of suicide. i screwed everything, my friends, family, relationship, my college stuff literally everything. Im indian scottish.i live in US in an international school. everyone in here dont wanna be friends with me. As i look tan colour and most of the guys in here are rich and dont like to talk to me. most of them stay away from me. even though i helped them in their times of need. they just soak me dry and leave in middle of nowhere. fortunately i got a girlfriend but no use she used me for three days and left me, even though i wanted her back .everyone took advantage of me being nice and took my revenge by picking on them this year, as so i have been livin alone, plying guitar, bagpipe, music had kept me running but i dont think i cant hold it by this for longerAnd my gpa and colleges everything are beaten up in to rubble even my college counselors are no good. i did talk to my parents about this  i think they dont really get what iam going through.they just start yellin about my grades and colleges but dont want to listen to what im sayin.  i have already said about my problems to my parents this christmas but they suggested me to just concentrate on studies you will be fine. but i have lost motivation and self confidence and i have become lazy. even though i try finish up my stuff i cant. Everyone discriminates me. And i dont like myself called indian as i lived in indian for only 3years in my childhood the torture i have been through in there in my past. last week i got beaten by 13 students. i did fight back. none of the students there came to help including my Ex just ignored me. the next day i got complaint from head master saying that i smacked this 13 peasants. i told him everything that yes i did beat thosse 13 guys but they were the first to pick. for that yes he suspended  me for 2 days. my Ex and everyone laughing around feels like hell up on earth. i ordered sleeping pills for suicide and looking for the day arrive and the good day to commit it. fortunately found this online wanted to share my last boons. thank you
3 comments
Hey Hun,
I can only begin to understand what your going through, being alone is one of the most painful and horrible feelings in the world. The fact that you think ur not being listened to makes everything so much worse. However there is always a but, I can promise you that your parents love you and that you have at least one friend that cares about you.
Being a girl myself I can see how my friends treat guys and they do things to them without realizing how it will impact their lives and that’s not okay.
Your not alone, wether its a stranger like me talking to you or one of your parents someone can always help you and I think most of the time that it’s better to have a stranger help you.
No matter how terrible life is treating you right now just hold on longer, it won’t be easy but you’ve done it for 17 years and you can do it longer. You have so much to look forward to. A wife, marriage, children, being loved don’t end your life without experiencing what that feels like. To love and to be loved in return.
If you really need help you can email me I’ve set up an email to help me and just being an person who will listen and won’t ever judge.
I promise you Hun that you will be okay and everything will get better and if you ever get down or sad you can email me cassandra12324@yahoo.com and I will help you as soon as I read your email
I hope this helps you see that people do care about you<3
Xxx
but i dont know how long i can hold even though how many times i pretended like nothing happened but inside of me iam being eaten little by little, everthing is becoming a burden on me. even my parents are not cooperating and the only remains is suicide
Hey bittu,
I am dealing exactly the same with yours. If ever you wanna talk to me, just email and I’ll listen and be there for u okay? just hold it in. release everything to me. kristelpena@yahoo.com