For almost a year i’ve been suffering from OCD. I’m depressed, numb and sometimes just thinking about ending it.
The only thing that have kept me from ending it was this one girl in my class that i recently learnt to talk to… We talked about random subjects together and just had a good time. Whenever i was feeling down, she talked to me and made me happy. Every time I would talk to her, my bath’s (normally about 45 minutes) would decrease to about 30 minutes. She’s the only thing that keeps me going. She makes me want to fight, to become normal. Our relationship started by us sitting near each other in the classroom, when we moved seats again I was depressed and lost again. She plays a big role in my life now, but she dosn’t know. We recently moved seats again now she sits near me again. However, I think/fear that we aren’t going to talk that much. She has basicly become my everything… But I don’t know how to get back to her. Her friend is at the hospital because of a heart attack and i know exactly what that feels like, and she seems to take it as hard as i did. Of course i understand her need for space, but i don’t know what to do with myself without her. A friend of mine says that I’m in love with her, but I’m not sure… back in 3’rd grade (BTW I’m in 7’th now) I got my heart broken and i’ve never loved anyone since that day. My skin is damaged… but she was the only one who took care of me.
Can someone please tell me how to get back to her, I need her. But without her I’m dead. Please answer before my deathwish becomes an action. And sorry for bad grammer, I was crying while writeing this.
And if she does see this… I hope she knows how important those convesations was.
8 comments
Tell her the way you feel about her. Just be honest with her. It’s a
.. It’s a risk I know, but you have to try something right? (sorry for some reason my keyboard decided to press enter at random :/)
Take up a sport.
Talk to her.. Tell her the way she has affected your life.. Remember if its meant to be, it will be.. If she knows how she has helped you, i bet she wont let you go..
That is my perception… Stay strong!
I think you’re right… however, I fear rejection. Do you have a suggestion to how I can tell her without it being embarrasing/akward. Or do i have to take that chance?
I would, and probably will if she goes to far…
Two words.
No.
Regrets.
Back in school 3 years ago, this chick in Maths always talked to me and made me feel wanted. But I ignored my feelings and thanks to that I never got that one special girl.
My advice would be to get her by herself at lunch break or something, look her in the eye and speak to her soul. Don’t say too much, but entice her all the same. Tell her how much she means to you, why she’s the only reason your here, don’t give her time to react till you’re finished.
Also, make sure to breathe as well. Remain calm and sincere.
Hope this helps and good luck.
That’s allot of responsibility to place on someone’s shoulders
As you have already learned its difficult maintaining one’s own emotions, hopes and dreams can you imagine being made responsible for someone else’s.
Love is a complex and in my option one of the greatest expressions of love is allowing someone to be themselves, who they are, and who they might be, without placing our expectations and needs onto them.
It sounds like this is the experience you felt with this girl.
This is such a wonderful gift that feels so wonderful that sometimes that when it’s given we try control and own it which actually distorts love.
To love someone we need to take ownership for our own emotions and sometimes the best place to start is to give to others (including ourselves) what we long for so much to receive ourselves without expectations.