A Rendezvous with the Eternity

I walked last night on the cliffs, facing the Pacific Ocean. Alone. It was very late; nearly 2am. There was a mild mist coming from the ocean. The ocean before me was so vast, that you can’t but still your mind and feel the nothingness. Had I taken a boat, and sailed straight forward (as the crow flies), I would have possibly ended up in Queensland.
Then you equate the ocean with the eternity. Of course, it’s only a fallacy, as nothing is eternal. One day even this vast ocean will come to its end. But it’s a melancholic thought nonetheless, when humans do that (looking at the ripples on the beach, and equating the oceans with eternity).
I then thought about me going into oblivion soon. Very soon indeed. Days. No, not days. More accurately “hours” (one has to be articulate, isn’t that right?) potentially separate me from the eternity. How many? I think 48-72 hours. Not that long. But again….as usual…it’s all conditional. You see, I’m waiting for the news: good or bad. But the news will come, which will determine my fate once and for all.
And so, last night, when I looked into the Ocean from the cliffs, I accepted my status quo. Totally. I silently (and with a smirk on my face, which the passers-by, had there been any, would not have understood) kissed the Eternity on the lips last night, and I told her we might have a randez-vouz very soon. Very soon indeed.
You see, whatever happens, happens. And the saying, ‘whatever happens, happens’ sums up my outlook on life pretty well.
I’m a fervent believer in the saying that not even a grain of sand is misplaced in the Cosmos. The Saturn, for example, is located *exactly* where it has to be. The Sun – that distant star – is exactly where it has to be. And my situation in life is exactly as it ought to be. It doesn’t matter if I acted responsibly throughout my short life or not. It doesn’t matter whether I dabbled in drugs or not. It doesn’t matter whether I am where I am today because of what *I* did, or because it was *done* to me.
Everything. All this….is a grand illusion. The more seriously we take our “problems”, the more engrossed are we in this dream, and the more difficult it becomes for us to fathom it.
You see, we can either look at the situations in our life as something disastrous, and go into a faetal position and accept our “victimhood”, or to look at anything and everything that befalls us with such an incredible outlook by LOL’ing at “it” in the face, that “it” realises its cover has been blown.
You see: “it” will remain here even after I’m gone. “It” will have to put up with everything that comes its way. Whereas I don’t have to. I can press a button and be gone any time I wish. I don’t have to put up with anything. My dream, my rules. And so, in that sense, I’m more powerful than “it”. I can leave “it” any time. And there isn’t a damn thing that “it” can do to me to force to keep me here.
And so, I stretched out my arms wide last night, whilst on the cliffs. I faced the Ocean and laughed. What a grand dream I have undergone in this life: it was a drama in the true sense of the word: laughter and sobbing; opulence and periods when I’m totally destitute; a good parent and a bad one; good health and debilitating illnesses; good looks and gradual loss of them with an attached perk of being in a position to hide it from the outside world through clever trickery; love and disappointment; travel to the far-away-lands; primeval lust, alcohol, chases and everything else in between. What a grand, grand dream it was! But perhaps now it is the time to let everything go and close my eyes for the last time, as I’ve dreamed the dream, and I don’t believe there are any more episodes left.