How much failure can one take

I am 37 years old and have accomplished nothing in my life. I am a mechanic by trade but just can’t seem to find any real success at anything. Since ’94 I have had nothing but bad luck and drama in my life. The only reason I am still breathing is because of my daughter, it wouldn’t be fair to leave her fatherless because my life is shit, but recently things have gotten to the point where I told my wife to take out a life insurance policy on me. I had planned to put myself in a situation where a particular person would kill me out of anger. Everything is going wrong for me, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel anymore. I feel like I’ve failed as a husband and father, and I just don’t have it in me to try anymore. Being positive, prayer, medications, hope, etc. Its all bullshit, nothing gets any better for me. Talking to a proffesional was a joke, I talked to the guy for an hour and when he realized be didn’t accept my insurance he ended the session and put me out like I was just a dollar sign! Plus I just don’t see how mepaying someone to help me is ppractical when the motive for helping me is money. I just don’t want to be here anymore, I’ve had enough. The pain is just too much.