maybe i just want attention, but i feel like i’m sick of all this. everyone around me is wearing a mask (including me) and its disgusting. but if we took our masks off it would reveal a face just as horrific. i see the beauty in sceneries, and music, but its not enough. i want more. i want this lifetime and all the ones proceeding it to be not so shitty. and not just for me, for everyone reading this. for everyone who feels like they’re being judged and have to put up some constant act or barrier around themself. “we’re only human” i keep telling myself, and that may be the issue itself here. because we’re humans, we will always have hope for things we cannot reach. we will always fear the unknown. and we will never be able to fully live in peace. as i write this i feel saddening, but the thing is… i like it. it feels  a lot better then just being depressed with nowhere to go, or having no motivation to move forward. this sadness and the feelings that come along with it are what bind me here. the hope that i’m wrong, and the fear of ending my life for some unknown reason. i don’t want to stop writing but i know i have to. no one should have too read this. no one should have to go through sadness and pain. so many different opposing thoughts are going on in my mind. i just don’t know anymore. i don’t want sympathy, but i don’t know what it is i do wan’t (pobably a better world for everyone? i know i’m asking too much but i’ll always hope for it).
1 comment
for me though life is shitty