Hi people, just felt like sharing this and I see, that I am not the only one here
My name is George, I am 17. Yes, I know I am young. I am Russian and Danish. The problem is, that since I have been 12 or 13 years old, I had this belief, that there must be a reason, that I could not have been born just to die. And I decided to fill my life with stuff, like travelling to ‘cool’ places, studying languages (I am writing in one of them now), getting hobbies, like reptiles and stuff, moved to another country, started living alone even did some drugs. Anyway, nothing made me feel better. I even started a whole new life in a completely different society. I still do not understand, why I should struggle through all of the life barriers? Why should I get to university, if I die anyway? Why should I find a repute job, if I will die anyway? Why should I get married or have children, if I will die, and then my kids will die anyway? Is life just something, filling the period between birth and death?
People tell me, that you should enjoy life. But is there a reason? Why? Why should I do that?I was raised in a religious orthodox family, though, by the age of 12-13 I started thinking about the possibility of the god existence. I have talked to people, specialized in that area, studed much science and it all ended up with me being convinced, that there is no supernatural activity.
Now emotions and behaviour. Â First of all, I hate myself. I hate how I study in school, hate how no one believes my stories. That leaded to me being a lier. I have lied about almost everything for the last 5 years, because I thought it was easier. Now I cannot even have a single conversation without a lie or two in it. I have cheated on most of my tests, which caused my failure in the subjects. I am about to fail my whole diploma. And the emotions. I fake them too. When I am with my ‘friends’, the consider me a funny and positive person. I come home, think of suicide. Not as positive, as they expected, huh? I do not like being social. I do not really have friends and all the more so, a girlfriend.
All in all, if someone talks to me or meets me, they will have the impression of “a ‘rich’ pretty guy, who travels a lot, moved to Denmark from Russia, has a lot of friends and etc.” I do consider me lucky. But it does not help on my mental state.
P.S. Sorry, if I am talking crap
11 comments
geolms,
well i agree with a lot you say i think your right! but the purpose of you being here is to make yourself happy till the day you die, that’s it! so……….. try to do that! also you are very intelegent to write so well it’s hard for me to believe you cheat? i think your so….. smart you just figured out how too! 🙂
well, hello there
I just cannot understand people, who write with bad grammar.
Cheated in most of my subject except English, so that is why.
thank you
21.
Still a young job flat 26
And love. freedom. And friend’s. Hope good one’s.
God put us here for a reason. Its up to us to figure out what exactly that reason was. We all have to die one day, but might as well enjoy life while we are here. You have to learn to love yourself and stop hating yourself.
Russian and Danish. Are you a female.?
Why not die instead? It makes no sense.
I do not think George is a female name. I am a guy
Hi, George.
Unlike others, I couldn’t care less whether you are telling the truth. You put yourself “out” and I will take you as what you presented; thus; we need not debate who – or if – you might be.
I am a spoiled “princess” myself. Its not easy. Neither is it a reason to think we get to escape the road set before us. I am not dismissing you, just offering to meet you where you claim to stand.
Only you choose whether you will travel with the road before you with grace or as one too afraid to risk the cost.
– RFT_
George is definitely not a female name. Maybe he/she didn’t read the whole post?
The inherent purpose of life is to survive and reproduce. People, however, can choose a different purpose–if they so desire. To a large extent, the purpose of your life is whatever you decide it to be.