Feeling like I’m going insane.
Everyone’s delusional.
And I gotta play this game.
Alone and nobody gives a damn.
She said she’s my best friend but what?
Nobody hits up my phone up.
Everybody say they have depression and they’re all alone but it’s all just a facade. Like it’s trendy now to wear it as a badge of honor. When in fact you’re charged guilty pleading your honor.
Fk why I gotta bottle
Everything up inside
Gambling with my life like a lotto.
It’s past midnight.
Gotta sleep.
Dreams of waking up to a better life, resting in peace.
Vincent Willem van Gogh – July 29, 1890
https://www.vincentvangogh.org
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0612.htm
http://www.vggallery.com/painting/p_0779.htm
Exhausted, really. I’m tired of being sad all the time and I’m tired of fighting to stay alive.
Physically, I’m perfectly healthy(ish). I shouldn’t have to fight to live.
Dying is ways in the back of my mind but sometimes my brain is screaming at me to just fucking do it already. I guess technically I am my brain. Does that mean I’m telling myself to die? They say to always trust yourself first. Does that mean I should listen?
I haven’t posted in a while and I don’t respond to shit so I’d understand if everyone just waves this off. I’ve been hearing voices for a while now first I thought it was me just being stupid and it wasn’t constantly so I ignored it. I thought it was my subconscious for a while but then it got worse and I keep getting sharp headaches which follows by the voices. I still don’t know if it’s me just acting stupid or if this is genuine, but they keep getting worse and worse telling me to kill myself or to hurt others. I use to […]
I was shouting to my mom. All I said was that I dont wanna live anymore. That I don’t want this. I start to act like a freak I start to hurt me. I start to scream. I hurt my mom too. I’m insane. What should I do ?
I don’t know what to do anymore
Im still wondering wrong
Nothing can help me
Not a lyric or a song
But I’m still wondering why
Should i fall or should i fly…
My life is hell. Â No, I’m not your average guy, and no I’m not looking for attention. Â I’m considering suicide. Â I love my kids, so I have found a way to get through today. Â My wife is driving me insane. Â We fight.. Â dirty.. Â I say things I know hurt her she says things to hurt me, wow how human.. Â however, Â I recant my mean and thoughtless words, and back up my recant with actions. Â I show her what I said is not true. Â On good days I chase her like a school boy and his first crush.. Â I love her madly.. Â she never recants. […]
recently I just broke up w my chick.. cuz i showed her my depressive side.. and she couldn’t accept it and felt very uncomfortable.. well breaking up w her was one of the worst and traumatic experiences i have gone through in a very long time.. but now i feel better!
I learnt a lot from it.. and I wish that I was feeling this calm and relaxed about my life when I was still dating her 🙁
I felt that after breaking up.. that I really needed to change myself and the way I think and behave on a day to day basis.. I have […]
(Sorry in advanced if things are disjointed posting on my cell)
I found this site nearly two years ago thought maybe I should make an account. Each time I would be bogged down with fear that maybe I shouldn’t what would people think? After all I already get looks because I have to see a doctor on and off or the medication that has caused issues in the past.
Today I gave in the fear is still there however something I said last week gave me pause. “Maybe the reason I haven’t tried in a while isn’t because I suddenly want to live. Maybe it is because […]
Im not a very important person. I don’t tell people about my problems. I have many. They drive me insane. I wish I was better person. I cant tell anyone abut this side of me except my only friend cole. he is the only one who will ever understand me. ever.
this is a list 0f my problems
1.im different
2.i cut
3.i am bulimic and anorexic
4.suicidal
5.family death
6.commitment issues
7.my mother has been dating a married man I hate for 6 years
8.my family thinks there’s something wrong with me
9.bullied
10.no friends
11.awkward
12.shy
13.anger issues
14.migranes
15.lack of sleep
16.i hear voices
17.cant focus
18.sexualy abused by half sister [longstory]
and last of all
19.i cant stand myself
please help, my family or […]
So a few weeks ago I found out this guy (that I don’t even like as a friend) has a crush on me. It’s awful and annoying. I never picture anyone having a crush on me (due to physical appearance) and when you find out someone does to me it’s just like uuhhhggg!!!!!! Why?!??!!?!??!??!?!?!!! I seriously want to scream I don’t like you!!!!! But I would hate myself after. I’m still confused on why some one would like me. I’m depressed, ugly, fat, and just gross and lately I haven’t been myself at all and it’s scaring me. *sigh I really don’t know what to […]
Go softly into the night,
Be calm in her cold embrace.
Time has passed you by little one,
Tis time to turn your face
Wander down the sloping road,
Fear not the shadows creeping.
Your peace will be upon you soon:
Little one grown tired of weeping.
Go bravely into the dark,
Heed not the hateful words.
You have chosen well,
Leave this bickering to birds.
Chin up, deep breaths little one,
Step by determined step, you take.
Your footsteps now will lead,
You’re en-route to a wondrous fate
Go calmly into deaths’ reaching hands
Rest weary and beleaguered head.
Your life is bleak, your heart worn through
It’s […]
I feel as if I’m going insane.. Losing my mind. Losing it.. Like I’ve lost everything else. Everything is cold.. dark.. and unforgiving. Everything sets me back.. So far back. I thought I could have just something that could be mine but I was only mistaken because here it goes. Growing wings.. and slowly setting off. I should whisper goodbye but the words won’t go.. won’t slide off my lips into the cold air.. They’re ready but won’t go. I need help but don’t really know where to look.. I’m alone.. So alone.. I have been alone and finding help is hard so do I […]
I really don’t know what I’m doing. I’m extremely suicidal, I have no fear of death and I welcome it’s emptiness. However, I have this insane little happy part of myself that won’t shut up about all of my hopes and dreams and how they could still happen. I really feel like two people at once sometimes. I don’t know whether to feel good or bad that they both agree I’m ugly and look nothing like they do in my head. (I have a lot of self-hate.)
I think it might be worse because I don’t feel like I have the right to feel this way. […]
My head is pounding i cant take the screams..i turned 18 today why aint i happy? Why does she keep banging on the door?? Cant she leave me already?? I dont even know why im writing here right now but i just need to talk without being yelled at or judged..why wont she understand im nlt crazy!! All i want is quiet..i want to rest..im in my bathroom sitting on the floor..my wrists are bleeding and it wont stop..im scared..i want to sleep..just sleep and stay like that..my hands are getting numb its getting hard to type..theres blood on my shirt and the […]
I dont think I actually want to die. What I want is to pull up a website that will let me completely change myself. Change my personality, my body.
My boyfriend thinks I’m insane. He doesnt like for me to touch him. He thinks I have serious emotional issues. Tonight I threw my phone at him bc he hurt my feelings.
I feel like I have too many thoughts and feelings inside my head and I don’t know how to process them all. I can’t write or talk about them bc I can’t organise them in a way that makes any fuckin sense. When I […]
I finally decided after almost a year to seek some help again. The doctor had a cancellation and was able to bump me up for today rather than two weeks from now. While talking i realized that I can’t open up. I’m always vague when i try leaving the doctor to be vague as well which only pisses me off. Why do I expect the impossible of others to see that I am dying inside? Either dying or slowly going insane. I can’t be left alone anymore. Every time I’m alone the worst comes out. I lose all sense of reality which drives me insane […]
I think I am indeed going insane. In a heartbeat I’ll be gone from being numb to aching for a blade in my hand. I cut but I don’t understand why – I don’t feel anything. 50 times last night and I don’t feel anything. I was going to make myself homeless, but even any benefits I could’ve gained from that would’ve gone out of the window now. There’s nothing I can do to make my life worth living. So I’ll just sit here until I go completely insane or I slit my wrists, either way, it isn’t going to end well.
Due to the […]
I feel like maybe I can actually do something for the good. I try to make everyone happy but at the end of the day I’m not. I feel bad for getting angry with myself for stuff I can’t control. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow with a smile on my face and feel better. I can only hope. I hope everyone is doing good tonight.
He left me for a 16 year old. together for 5 years. been through everything imaginable. He asked if I would be okay dating him if he was with her too. He wants two girlfriends. says he can’t lose me but he’s going to pursue her. He even shows me the sweet texts they send each other.
I said I would be okay with it.
I would be the other girl. as long as he paid more attention to me.
It’s been two days and he hasn’t called or returned my texts. So I’m done now. I was not in the mental state to be […]
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