Hello, just ranting on about my life.
I am committing suicide soon. I have wanted to commit suicide for a long time (10+ years), but I am at the point now where I know I can kill myself.
The reason I know is that I have been doing things that I would have never done before over the past two or so years. I have forced myself out of my comfort zone, had a ton of experiences I would have never had otherwise, and learnt a lot. One of the things I have learnt is the ability to just DO IT (pls don’t sue).
I said fuck it. I’m going to do whatever I want. No limits, no thinking about the consequences. In about half an hour (not kidding), I am about to go and pump my best mate’s hot gf. I love it, it’s hilarious. I have no shame, no guilt, and could not give two shits about what anyone else thinks. I strongly recommend going ‘fight club’ style before you actually try to harm yourself, it could save your life (both literally and metaphorically).
Unfortunately for me, it has basically confirmed everything I had already known. The world is shit, no one cares about anyone but themselves, the majority are a bunch of deluded, brainwashed slaves who couldn’t think for themselves if they tried, and unless you are in that 1% bracket, you’re working like a dog for the majority of your life too.
Life is just not worth it. Working even just 6hrs a day (im a teacher) is too much for me. No, im not lazy, I just don’t want to work. Â Why work when you could just not exist? Why go through all the pain and hardship of living when you could just erase your existence? What good times? The few times where you are actually happy certainly does not outweigh the bad times. Not for the majority in my opinion.
I’m lucky to be living in one of the most economically advanced countries in the world and I have nothing. I would rather just not exist, so I will be committing suicide (prefer jumping, instant death almost guaranteed from a certain height), but I have one last card I want to play before I go.
I’m a big fan of assessing risk. I am also a big follower of the markets and believe that there is a chance I could make a ridiculous amount of money on the forex markets. The only drawback is that it is a high risk strategy; I could lose everything (moneywise). Which is actually great for me: losing all my money would force me into the state of deep depression which would push me off the edge (no pun intended).
So i’ve just taken out a massive personal loan and all my life savings and thrown it into the markets. Either I make a wad of cash, or I go broke and jump.
If i’m going to live, it will be on my terms.
2 comments
OMG…. That was my same strategy before I decided to call it quits. I invested a huge amount of my money and went for “broke” in the stock market. I did make some money (over 8K in my most profitable single day) but my strategy called for really high risk calls and the stress level eventually got the best of me, though I never lost principal. Anyway I too plan on leaving this world real soon, I just wish I knew what awaits me on the other side ( heaven or hell). Best of luck with your bf girl. Did you figure out what your past day activities might be (maybe sex, drugs, foods etc.)???
Travel well my friend
Unfortunately for me, it has basically confirmed everything I had already known. The world is shit, no one cares about anyone but themselves, the majority are a bunch of deluded, brainwashed slaves who couldn’t think for themselves if they tried, and unless you are in that 1% bracket, you’re working like a dog for the majority of your life too.
I quote this from you, but you said you were about to fuck your best friends girlfriend.
Does this not confirm that you don’t care about anyone but yourself either?
I randomly came across this site googling about suicides on the lions gate bridge, and just seeing that so many of you want to die so bad saddens me. Life is worth living. And I hope and pray that each of you will see that before you do something that will effect more people than you think. It effects me and I don’t know any if you.