I keep trying to trudge on through. I keep trying to tell myself “it’ll get better” but there’s just this overwhelming bellowing scream in my soul that exclaims “fuck it!” “bail! bail! bail!” “don’t kid yourself, get it over with NOW!!!” I feel torn and conflicted because on the other side there’s this tiny voice that tells me to “please hold on, it will get better” I’m exhausted on this inner argument inside my mind. I just want my mind to SHUT THE FUCK UP! and what better way to do that than suicide? I’ve been hoarding my meds. So far I have enough adderall […]
Tag:
suicide plan
Do you guys have a suicide plan tucked away? Like something you keep in mind in case things go south, even if you’re doing great right now?
Just to clarify I just want to know if you do or not, I don’t want to know any plan details, it’s against the rules.
My suicide plan is to get right with God so I can have at least a little chance of making into heaven, then hang myself or Carbon Monoxide poisoning. The latter seems like the least painful way of doing it but it takes a while and sometimes isn’t even done correctly. I’m fact, I don’t even care if it hurts, I’ve suffered so much hurt on this earth that all this will seem like is another pinch. My week of getting right with God starts today. And if I get any shitty comments like “Suicide sends you to hell” you and I will have a […]
So my depression started when i was bullied severely in middle school and summer camp, people really don’t know how much this messes up a person. I became introverted and started thinking of my own death constantly at a young age , to the people that say it gets better i just have to laugh. Because now that I am older I found out that I am diagnosed with schizophrenia, and not to mention I am a 30 year old unsuccessful virgin that also has erectile dysfunction. It seems that God is just laughing at me just like the builles did when I was a […]
Looks like my previous suicide plan isn’t necessary for now. My plan was to wait for five years, then kill myself if life is fucked still, or if it fucks up. There’s no way of knowing if life will fuck up, but because I’m happier now, I’ll see how I am in five years. Eye surgery successful, even though I only have one real eye, the other one feels the same as the real one, no more pain, have friends in one state in my country if I give up on family here or if they give up on me. Either wway, suicide isn’t necessary. […]
Hello, just ranting on about my life.
I am committing suicide soon. I have wanted to commit suicide for a long time (10+ years), but I am at the point now where I know I can kill myself.
The reason I know is that I have been doing things that I would have never done before over the past two or so years. I have forced myself out of my comfort zone, had a ton of experiences I would have never had otherwise, and learnt a lot. One of the things I have learnt is the ability to just DO IT (pls don’t sue).
I said fuck it. […]
In the last week or two, I have been taken to the hospital for breaking down in class and revealing my suicide plan to the guidance councillor. I could say that I was surprised, but I wasn’t. The moment I said, “the fact of the matter is that I am suicidal,” I knew I was screwed. So, my parents were notified and I was shown the doors of the ER. However, I was able to avoid admittance, if only barely, by bravely lying my way out. On the exact same day I planned to kill myself, I smiled, laughed, and maintained my composure. So it’s only […]
its unbeleivable that today im talking to you all when tommorow will be another attempt that i will probably fail at but im going to try anyway.If i should die.I will probably figure out to late its a mistake and that im stupid.Im just tired of the mindless dysfunction of my life and household. I cant take all this screaming.And i have a therapist who still has not gotten back to me.I just ended today with my current therapist.That alone is a hard loss.I cant take this back.Its been planned and so it will happen. If anything goes wrong its my fault. Im a […]
As part of my behavior intervention plan it was decided that i shouldnt come on here as often.My plan for death after the family trip is still in motion.Im aware that i could die but its to late to stop cause everything has all been planned out.And for me i dont stop when ive decided to do something.Theres no turning back.Its sad cause my mom said today that ive changed and grown a lot.I agree with her in all ways except one and that is im still sad.Just this general doom and gloom about everything.I cant even call my friend from the hospital cause im […]
I know very soon i will start an attempt but this will be a little different.Pills almost did me in about a week ago.i told the psych at er id try again in two weeks guess shell be seeing me again.Anyway i have this image of slicing a line with my moms box cutter starting at the elbow going straight down almost to the wrist.
But thats not what i want to talk about.
I want to talk about what the key making dcisions and steps you need to determine wether you can actually go through with it or not.
1. can […]
My life has fallen to pieces. The details aren’t important. It’s all the same stuff that you read on this forum. That’s not even the reason I’m upset. My emotions are out of control. I can be fine one day, then spend the next day crying into my pillow. I’ve had it. I cut myself. I beat my face in with a mallet. I can’t stop fantasising about jumping off the roof of my house. And yes, I do have a suicide plan. I feel that God has abandoned me, and I don’t know where to turn. The only ray of hope right now […]