School

I haven’t been on here in a while, so long, in fact, that I had to make a new account.

I’ve come back because I have no one to talk to anymore. Everyone around me is either ignoring me or they have other issues greater than my own to deal with. I’m in year twelve this year, my last year of school. My sister is in my year level too because she got sick last year and had to do it over two years. This is difficult for me. And I know it’s difficult for her too. But no one sees how much it affects me.

She hangs around my friends at school. I can’t control people and I can’t control my friends. I know that. This is why no one understands how I’m feeling because I know I can’t make my friends prefer me. It’s so hard to not have a seat at the table because my sister’s sitting there instead. It’s so hard to listen to one of my friends say “we’re sitting ___, we’ll meet you there”

I can’t talk about this with anyone because they’d think I’m being selfish. So I’ve come here because everyone on this website has always understood me when no one else has.

For the first time in a long time I self harmed. I don’t even care how difficult it was to stop. I can’t do this year. Not if I have no one. I just wanted school to be the part of my life that’s separate from my home life, but now they’re combining and I can’t handle that. I need a break.