Every morning when im wakeing up im still wondering why im still here.
My story.
Im been bullied hole my young life from my second grade to seventh grade.
I been beaten, called names, push around and much more. When i was 15 years old
i try to take my own life by drowning my self to river. I was in the river swiming couple
hours just around and around waiting my strenght to run out. Then i started to feel weak.
Then i sit to one rock and thinking now or never. I was thinking about alot of things
but i dunno enymore what make my mind to chance from the killing my self. Maybe
i thinked there is too much pain left for the family and friends. I dont know.
When i was 18 to 20 years old i was deeply depressed, cuz i had no friends at that
time. i was alone vanishing away from my own life. I was just laying there whit no
hope left. I drown my bad feeling by drinking, drugs and eating away doing nothing
else. I didnt have work or enything i just sit on my computer. But then i get back on
my feet getting to accepted to school.
Now im 23 years old and everything from my past is coming back from shadows
everythings that i didnt know there was about my family what i just push down
not thinking about it twice. Now im seeing everything cuz i have open my eyes to this
world. My mom is alcoholic, my dad is trying the best keep everything in order.
But im thinking my dad isnt going to be around very long after my youngest brother
moves out. There is alot things coming back to me now when i realy start thinking
about every thing and i dont know do i have strenght to deal whit everything. Im just
too weak right now to deal everything. Im just thinking about killing my self cuz this
world is just joke be for we go to the other side. I think about that day when i was 15
why i didnt do it and save my self from this bullshit.