i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of the world for my condition. i attempted to hate the hypocrisy of the world for the hypocrite that i am. i guess i am finally realizing that i am everything that i despise. there is nothing that can be done now, it’s far to late to change who i am. i am just a piece of shit waiting for death to call me back
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This post could have been written by me and I would not know the difference. I’ve been going through the same experience for years. I’ve lived life with no goal and no dreams.
I have come to realize that family and friends are still a good reason to keep going but the idea of just disappearing is still very comforting.
I’m slowly starting to accept that I am stuck with this life. Until I die or until a good reason to leave comes along. I still have hope. Whether that hope is growing or dying remains to be seen.