As I sat there awakening from my dream-like state of fog that seems to be ever surrounding, whether it be sleep or the lack thereof, I realized that my morning ritual was left undone. So, I loaded bullet into the cylinder and give it a spin. Pulling back the hammer, I thought about the round I was using. It couldn’t be your standard run of the mill .44 mag round, for it could pass right through leaving me a vegetable. Potato or squash? Neither, because I was using a frag round, as to insure the job got done right. You see, the frag round breaks […]
Tag:
Skull
commit suicide. and throw myself hard on the concrete floor tilll my cheeks get crushed in pain and all my teeth fall out and my ugly plain eyes pop out of their skull. i’m to throw myself against the concrete or off a bridge till my head cracks open and all the rottenness comes out, cut my nipples off and attack myself with a machete before the devil takes me
I’m not sure how to say this, I’ve never posted on something like this before. But I quit.
I’m turning 18 in almost 2 weeks, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. I’m depressed, I have been for a while, but instead of accepting that and finding a way to cope with it, my dad is ignoring it. I really noticed it after my mom passed away a year and a half ago. Granted, it’s normal to be sadder than usual during that time, I realize this. To try and cheer up, I tried looking back at the time before we learned she had cancer, […]
30 second run time
Imagine this contained in the skull, I’m 99% certain this will be an instant death.
I’m a freshmen in college-Best time of my life, right? Here’s what I have accomplished, failing classes, attempting suicide, countless anxiety attacks, depression and a stay at a mental ward for a week.
Yeah, I tried to kill myself-I took…I don’t even remember how many handfuls of Tylenol. For awhile, the pills took away the pains I felt from either depression or the anxiety. I couldn’t feel anything. I banged my head against the wall-Nothing. I kept taking them, my heart was either beating too fast or too slow, I couldn’t tell which though. I got in the shower with my clothes on and just laid there. I was […]
stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of […]
So i found the hand gun i knew the old man had. im not into guns cause i have morals against them so i dont work them well but i know it well enough to shoot. so i cocked the gun and couldnt figure out how to fix it without shooting it so i had to take it outside and shoot it. powerful little thing. crush my skull good! so ive been really thinking about using it to end my life soon. but i guess im scared to do it. i dont know why. i cant find anything worth staying alive for. being dead sounds […]
I sent a bullet through my skull 15 years ago on November 10th, 1997. I never did it again, came close a couple of times but I’ve tried hard never to let things get that bad again. Of course, so many things are out of our control and there’s always the day to day BS that can lead to death by a thousand cuts. Even as a small child I remember suicide being an option. If things went bad at school or with friends I remember thinking “I could always kill myself” and it made me feel better. I didn’t act on it until much later but […]
My housemate of 2 years and friend of 10 shot and killed himself in May of this year (2012). Â I was downstairs and had texted him to ask if he wanted some scrambled eggs I was making. Â I heard him walking around, but he never answered my text. Â Later, afterward, I looked at his phone and I saw my text message had been read. Â He knew I was up, he knew I was home. Â Twelve minutes after I sent the text I heard a sound like a box had been dropped on the floor. Â For some reason I noted the time. Â This sound was loud […]
I’m not sure how this works but I feel like venting. I’m 25 years old. People say I’m pretty but most of the time I can’t stand who I see in the mirror. I’ve been reading posts on this website over the last few days and I was surprised to see my thoughts and feelings expressed so accurately by random people all over. You know when people say oh everyone’s felt like  that, like that’s suppose to help but this actually is kind of comforting. Anyway back to venting. I had a car accident this mornin and physically I’m fine but in every other way I’m […]
Hi,
I`m male, 29. I suffer from Schizophrenia(the doctors say). In general, I fear that people around me is not there voluntarily, like they`re sort of reading of a note, and doing what their told(by force one might say). Which is a big problem when it comes to women. Some things between man and woman are pretty bad when they happen by force(you know what I`m aiming at).
I hear a lot of voices which tense me to the point of wanting to crush my skull against the wall(I sort of get a release by visualizing it, wich is pretty violent imagery, and sort of weird, lol). […]
Who do I tell? Everyone has their own fallouts, their own personal tragedies to battle with. Even the ones that don’t have cracks in their windshields have no mileage on their speedometer; they haven’t the time to slow down and pick up a hitchhiker. It’s understandable. I can’t truly decide whether I could stand to let myself be carried along anyway, becoming the problem in someone else’s existence. The bump in the road that needs to be filled in, poured up with concrete until it is as smooth and solid as they go. It never seems like it is out of choice, and when it […]
Well I have tried killing myself. I’ve slit my wrists, arms, legs, stomach, fingertips. I don’t want an identity. I have burned off my fingerprints but they grew back, no matter how many times I burned them off.
I don’t consider myself human.
I’m an alien.
I’m a redhead that lives in a small town full of Mexicans. I don’t hate them, I love my friends. But I’m an alien. I’m from mars and other people like me (gingers) are the reason why mars is red. I had to learn to make fun of myself at a very young age in order to live in this hellhole-of-a-town.
I’ve held a […]
my mom wont stop now i cant walk she broke my left leg it hurts and she wont take me to a doctor or hospital. also i haven’t slept in a week because im 2 scared because mom beats me wen im asleep.at least she aunt my real mom.my real mom and dad died when i was 1 i was in a orphanage till i was 6 then toni adopted me. i wish she didnt. and thanks to all who posted commets exepcialy you leahwallis thanks.also the orphanage was abusof it even killed my sister hope wen she was 9 i was separed from my […]
I don’t really hear about trains much when searching for suitable methods. I have certainly come across suicides relating to an individual jumping on the subway tracks, but this is not really what I’m talking about. It seems messy and uncertain, particularly due to the fact that if your jump in front of a train pulling into the station it is comming to a stop, not to mention the fact that subway trains [in my city at least] don’t seem to go that fast to begin with [not compared to actual trains anyways].
So if one was looking to be taken out by a train what […]
 I have a house and a family, enough money to live on, a nice school, quite a few friends. Why then am I still not happy? Am I selfish? Or greedy? Or arragont enough to think I am better than other people?
I do not think I am selfish, I may be wrong, or greedy or arragont. I do not think I am better than any one else. On the whole I think I am much worse. I do not deserve the many good things I have, a family and such amazing friends as the ones I have.
Since I was aged 8 and lost my Gran to […]