It has been 2 months since I last came here on SP. Â Some of you might remember me… Amakua, rocketman, etc.
I have become a completely different person. I hereby declare that I am out of the pit of suicidal thoughts.
I am no longer that person. The little girl who used to be afraid of the darkness. The girl who cried alone in the middle of the night. I am no longer a pessimistic fool who depreciate myself. I am no longer a weak failure who always yearn to slit my wrists with a razor.
I no longer smile with dead eyes.
Now there are really no more piles of tissues in the corner of my room. I no longer cry every single day. Even though I also don’t understand why. My misery is still the same. My pains are still the same as before.
Maybe it is because I have become stronger. I am alive now. I have strength, courage, and determination to chase my dreams.
I love myself. And that is all my happiness.
I used to think that happiness is a long way. But I was wrong… it is here all along. The magic I have been searching for so long happens to be in my own hands. The happiness I have been searching happens to be inside my own self. Me.
My will to live is returned. I have reasons to hold on, stand, and fight.
My wish… is to be happy with what I have.
Though no one is able to fulfill it except for me.
That’s why… I do not miracles to fulfill my wish.
For those of you out there who are struggling: the strength lies within yourself. The magic is in your own hands. You yourself have the power to make your dreams come true. Even though, yes, it takes wisdom and patience to reach this realization.
Good luck, everyone.
5 comments
Cool. What did you change?
dont mater why well don sisther good luck xx
Aww good for you! You sound so strong. I hope you can refer back to this post when feeling down and remember you have strength you didn’t know you had.
I’m crying less too but I think it’s the meds. They also seem to stop the negative thoughts from constantly playing in my head like a track on repeat. I don’t get it, because nothing has changed for me either. I’m actually going to make cupcakes for a friend this week, because I want to. (lol that’s progress, sad as it sounds)
Ama hasn’t been on here in ages, I hope it’s because her life is going well :\
I remember you – and this is outstanding news to hear! Glad to hear you found a new perspective and understand that YOU have the power to choose how you view things and events and you get to choose how you feel and react to them.
perspective dawg
muspelhem: My misery and pains are still the same as before. What has changed is my own self. Me. I have changed my perspective of life.
everyone: thank you so much, I love you all. Good luck for you all too. Stay strong. xxxxx