I need someone to understand

Hi, my name is Josh and im currently a Senior in highschool. I have a problem…trouble making friends. Its hard to explain but im a very very friendly, loving, happy, and a peaceful guy. Thats just how I am…unfortunately deep inside I am a very sad, depressed and lonely person. I like to question things, even myself and i think this is what is leading to my downfall….when i was young i had only 2 friends…i could only be with one at a time and if it was all 3 of us i would get very jealous and depressed, remind you…i was VERY young when i got this feeling, over time I would have that one best friend and would literally dedicate my life to that one person, anyone who got in the way of our friendship i would get jealous of. Even with my moms boyfriends i would just want it to be me and him and when my mom would come along i would get very sad inside. I just wanted a friend i guess. Over time i made friends and lost friends but I discovered love which is the best feeling and the shittiest feeling. I just got out of a very bad relationship and fell in love with this girl named Karina…she is amazing and she means everything to me, literally the reason im still alive and writing this post. Unfortuantely she is so amazing that she is nice to everyone, guys, girls, ex boyfriends….everyone! and with my extreme jealousy it gives me the most painful feeling in the world…i cant even call it depression its that painful! By the way, this is only one reason im suicidal. Anyway, i put my whole life ahead for this one person and when she tells me she wants to be able to hang out with guy friends i can understand because she is friendly but also it kills me inside…I HATE guys, i guess its because i learned how they are overtime…they are animals and only want sex and will do anything to get it…even if that means falling in love. I dont know whats wrong with me but ever since i started questioning life, i entered the world of “reality” and if you viewed it the way i do, you would want to kill yourself too. I hate how the world is, i hate america, i hate countries, i hate racism, i hate violence, i hate poverty, i hate sex, i hate money but when i say these things…you think you understand but i HATE it with a passion. When i see a homeless man i start to cry and want to kill myself, when i see violence on TV or seeing kids kill animated people in video games..i want to kill myself. I mean, what has the world come too? when has it been ok to be animals? we are worse then animals…we are humans! I guess what im trying to say is i hate the way life is, i hate people and i know there is someone out there who thinks like me and i just want to talk to that person now because im struggling everyday not to kill myself…im tired of these suicidal thoughts and i just need a friend right now. Thank you.