I’m a 17 year old girl, and I’m depressed and  have anxiety issues.. Apparently it is quite common to want to die but it isn’t a good enough reason to actually kill yourself. If you do, people will be seriously hurt. If I didn’t know anyone at all, I would probably do it, but I do know people. So I have to stay alive.
I don’t have close friends because I push them all away. I’m never comfortable, even just sitting alone in my room away from everyone, I’m on edge. When I actually go out and do things, I have to constantly take deep breaths and try to calm down because my heart races and I freak out. I don’t remember the last time I was happy.
I’m not going to type out my whole life story. I just want to say that I do feel this way and I do want to die, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to kill myself. I have been sure that I didn’t want to live for about a year. For years before that I was unhappy, but I wasn’t sure if suicide was right. I haven’t gotten help yet. I am going to start going to therapy and taking prozac next week. Even if it doesn’t work and I always feel miserable, I have to stay alive. I hope that whoever is reading this will decide to stay alive, too.
3 comments
What up What! Love the name 🙂 I absolutely agree with you and surely relate. The sole reason I decided against offing myself is strictly due to my family. I have caused them so much harm as a result of my existence already and so I just can’t put them through any more unnecessary pain. I can’t imagine myself having any significant positive influence on them nor anyone else, but like you I have to remain alive, even in misery, even if only for the sole reason of not causing anyone any more pain. Again, like you, if I didn’t have anyone else in my life I would surely end my life. I’m really glad for posts like this one you have posted because it reminds me that I just have to stay alive and most importantly, that I am not alone in this, there are others like me here, such as yourself, and that alone makes this misery far more bearable. I too once tried getting help and in all honesty it truly did help, this is no coincidence, your post is very encouraging for me to seek out help once more. So thank you for making a difference for me today. I strongly encourage you to be as openminded as possible when you begin therapy & be abdolutely honest, for that is the only way to be helped, I’m sure you know this tho. Anyway, I’m really curious to know how therapy & the meds are helping you. Please let me know. I really hope you start feeling better, I will pray for you, I promise. Take care WhatWhat 🙂
PS.. Thanks to your post I am deciding to get back into therapy and hopefully end this misery and unbarable urge to die cuz that is such an icky feeling.
keep strong ur young dont throw it way
Hi 🙂 I’m glad to read that you won’t attempt suicide. But the feeling of wanting death is still there…Tell me. Do you want that wanting to go away? Because if you do, we will help you get there. I will help you. But that is only if you let us. Okay? 🙂
For now, I pray you stay strong and hold on hope! You can talk to any of us here when you need someone, alright? Take care XX