All I can produce are tears. Tears of anger, frustration, irritation or just sadness. I really can’t tell the difference. I can just feel the wetness run down my cheeks and the salty taste on my lips. My chest caving in and a sharp pain in my stomach, as if someone piercing it with a knife. My heart is spinning and I can’t seem to tie down on a single thought…I’m lost..and it feels like I’m in this dark corner, forever alone, sadness consuming.
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You should see my ever expanding file of written thoughts. It is a curse, those of us who think too much, who don’t fit into the dog eat dog world of money and things. We long for simple compassion between human beings, but that is so difficult to find. I sell my belongings, I head for the majestic Redwoods, a few last quality meals, and the trees will be who I have my final conversations with. I have sought music, nature, outdoor exercise all my life to try to hold to some joy, but even those things grow old. It is time.