I suppose i just want to get my thoughts down on a visible medium. For as long as i can remember, Â i’ve always preferred to never exist. Im 21 right now and i dont see an endgame in life that i could possibly enjoy. I simply dont want to exist. I want all traces of my life to be gone an erased from all records and notice. I have family that cares for me, this being the only thing preventing action. So now i guess the only thing to do in life for me is to continue doing absurd crazy things and take great risks until i eventually die.
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I can relate with everything you have said. I wish there is something I could do to help. I’m struggling pretty badly right now. I want to be erased from this earth, but I don’t want to spread the pain onto my family. I’m tired of trying. I have no desire to do anything. I wish I could snap my fingers and magically have a happy life. My life isn’t bad, it’s just my mind and body that is. I hate myself. I just can’t imagine being happy in this body. Sorry I’m kind of venting to you lol. But I am here for you. I feel like a hypocrite trying to convince you to live when I want to die, but I want to try and help. I don’t even know you, but I’m sure you have a lot of potential. You deserve to live. Maybe we can help each other, idk.
YEAH I FEEL U TO BE HONEST I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY RITE NOW MY LIFE IS DO I DIE OR NOT DIE THAT WAD I GOT IN MIND I SEE EVERY BODY HAPPY ENJOYNG LIFE BUT ME I CANT IN JUST SUCH A FAILIUR HOW CAN I BE HAPPY IF IAM JUST LOST WITH MY LIFE MY HEAD HEARTS I DONT KNOW WAD TO DO NOMORE NOW THAT I DONT GOT NUN TO DO JUST STAY I. MA ROOM ALL DAY DOING NUN NOW THAT THEY TOOK EVERYTHIG FROM ME CUZ IM JUST A FAILIUR BUT ANYWAYS I JUST GOT 2 THINGS IN ME DIE OR LIVE ….