Wrong? Right?

I don’t know. my parents were addicted to meth. To be honest my mom did meth through out the time I was in her stomach. I did not come out wrong I was never normal though. My parents loved me of course but they were always to busy doing drugs and stealing from the government to really take good care of me. My mom eventually went to prison for 5 year. I was sad of course but she left all the time anyways so it was normal. My dad quit meth. He started drinking. Most people would be happy but my dad was worse when he was drinking. Me and my brother were never good enough. It felt like torture to know I would be up all night getting screamed at and trying to keep my dad from killing my brother. My father is a very good dad when he is not drinking but he never quit until a year ago. I never blame my dad or mom for me being depressed because it was the past I should just suck it up and get over it right? I was also raped for a couple years by someone who is very close to my family I still have to see him. That hurts. I could blame him but I don’t. I always blame myself. Even though the thing that happened through out my life has made a huge difference in who I am to day. I know that I could really never really get away from this mess. If only I could scream HELP. Tell them how I feel  but life is not that easy I’m not gonna destroy my family because I’m suffering. Don’t get me wrong I’m proud of my parents. They both are clean now. So why can’t I just move on I don’t want to be stuck in the past anymore.