A day

I am so sick of the ups and downs…. Make a plan to kill my self … Pray for a reson why not Tooo….. Gets the reson…work harder to better life ….Turn happy ….think about it deeply on accident …. But keep trying to be happy….minds starts to collapse in thougths…. Start to cry….. Work harder to keep my self from thinking… Began to fail at any activity at hand…. Decides to take a nap…..can’t sleep….stuck in thougth… Crys my self to masturbation… Hard to mesturbate…..fall to sleep in frustration…… Restart for the next day and repeat