Hello. This is my first post here. IÂ don’t really know why I’m writing this. I guess I just want to spill it out. May be it will help me to cope with my feelings.
I feel so angry at myself for complaining about my life. I mean look at the world around us. People are dying from hunger, from war, from diseases, from cancer….and here I am. Safe and sound…well…for now…
I’m almost 18. Feel like 12 years old to be honest. How did I even get that old. So fast.
I dont have anything to hold on to. Relationship with my family is…how can i put it…not the one I had hoped for. The worst part is that I am the reason of this. I am the reason behind every single fought of hanging myself, jumping off somewhere…This constant desire to hurt myself…for what I’ve done with my life.
I feel like two people are fighting in my brain. One telling me how pathetic and stupid I am….reminding me that I ruined everything with my own hands. The other one makes me cry…pity myself. May be its because I feel that no one understands me….
No. I cant comlain. I cant expect anyone to say ”I’m with you, dont be afraid”. No. This is only for those who truly are innocent in their lifes. I am not.
Look. Even when writing this I have this feeling of self pity. I want you to feel sorry for me. To say that I am not alone in this. Will you? It sounds so stupid. I know.
My eyes are drained. Even tears abandoned me.
6 comments
Hey… It happens you feel like that sometimes. And from the way you say it , it makes me feel you would like to change things make things better like your relationship with your family. Hurting yourself doesn’t make anything better. You may feel at times you are abandoned but trust me you are not. So put yourself together and dont be afraid its ok it really is and everything will be just fine 🙂
I absolutely feel you. I feel exactly the same. And if you’re seeking confirmation that you’re not alone, there are so many people here that can help you, and you can confide to without feeling guilty or attention seeking. Because we all deserve some attention.
People who say ‘Don’t be sad because others have it worse’ is the same as saying ‘You shouldn’t be happy because some have it better’
You’re always heard here, and I hope you find some hope through here too.
As you can see, unfortunately, your not alone in feeling like this.
im 17 and turn 18 in may and i completely agree with you on this account 100%
Honestly, I do understand. This constant voice in the back of my head telling me Im worthless, the other voice that just wants me to lay down and sleep forever. I cant tell you that it gets better, because Im still in this place and I dont know how to get out. All I can say is I understand.
Thank you soooooo much…Everyone…
Yeah, I do want to make it better but the thing is the people around me do not have a single reason to put up with me..I haven’t done anything good in my life…I just lived without thinking about others…and now I pay the price..