Finally made a decision

I have been lurking on this sight for a while. I thought I would post my story. Until about 15 years ago, I had a good life. I had friends, normal ups and downs. I was able to cope with what life handed to me.  I got married and had a very difficult time having a child. It worked out in the end, but husband was abusive, etc. I was lonely. I tried to connect wi other Moms. ±Gradually over time, I ended up with just aquantences  or “group” friends (people invite me to events and parties, but not one on one. It was very lonely. I coped, everytime life knocked me down, i got back up and tried again. But each time, it was harder to get up. I had no support group. Still don’t. All this lonliness lead to depression. LOTS of therapy and antidepressants, exercise, yoga…no longer helps. The deal is, I can go months without hearing from anyone. I show up at events, but no one seeks me out. This is really no way to live. I can feel OK about dying because I really tried my best. I treated people the way I wanted to be treated. I was a good person. There is a lot more to my issues, but too much to write here. The saddest part is that the way I plan to kill myself is a direct result of haivgin no support system. My plan is to get into bed and never get out again. I will die from lack of water and food. No one will check on me, so there is no hope of rescue.  I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.