I have been lurking on this sight for a while. I thought I would post my story. Until about 15 years ago, I had a good life. I had friends, normal ups and downs. I was able to cope with what life handed to me.  I got married and had a very difficult time having a child. It worked out in the end, but husband was abusive, etc. I was lonely. I tried to connect wi other Moms. ±Gradually over time, I ended up with just aquantences  or “group” friends (people invite me to events and parties, but not one on one. It was very lonely. I coped, everytime life knocked me down, i got back up and tried again. But each time, it was harder to get up. I had no support group. Still don’t. All this lonliness lead to depression. LOTS of therapy and antidepressants, exercise, yoga…no longer helps. The deal is, I can go months without hearing from anyone. I show up at events, but no one seeks me out. This is really no way to live. I can feel OK about dying because I really tried my best. I treated people the way I wanted to be treated. I was a good person. There is a lot more to my issues, but too much to write here. The saddest part is that the way I plan to kill myself is a direct result of haivgin no support system. My plan is to get into bed and never get out again. I will die from lack of water and food. No one will check on me, so there is no hope of rescue.  I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.
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6 comments
Hi! Do you dance? Im so glad you decided to post on here :)… im sorry for the circumstances though… I would like to know more about your story
don’t give up .
I don’t understand.. What if you need to use the bathroom, are you allowed to get up for that? Do you at least have books and magazines or TV? It seems like dehydration would take 2 or 3 days. I’d want my laptop and phone if I was stuck in bed like that. I wonder if she can read any of this.
It can sometimes take longer than that too, @coitus. It sounds like a miserable way to die and you’d have to have a lot of mental willpower to do that. Dehydration leads to skin irritation, hallucinations, etc. I’m sure most people would give in pretty quickly–we’re wired for survival. I’m not trying to make light of the situation, but it sounds like a miserable exit. Otherwise, it sounds far too simple or else we’d all be doing it. Or I’d just go hike and hide in the woods somewhere and die or something for an “accidental” death.
I wish I could pay someone to kill me honestly. Pay for my own hitman, hah!
@dancer, I really didn’t mean to not address our issues. I can tell that you’re stress, hopeless and frustrated. But dying by dehydration (but I really think the will to live will kick in before then) can lead to surviving with seizures and brain damage, which I’m sure you wouldn’t want.
*your