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last yr this yr..shit im different

by fakingit

yeah so shit i remember last yr shit ive been a member of this site for a year now. damn yeah so lets start there then..ive grown up so much and at the same time hit rock bottom.

last yr i was being bullied for being fat at the same time i was starving myself and working myself to the max to get thin. i did it. then one bite of food became an addiction over this past yr now i have start over with that.

last yr i was scared to leave the house. now this yr i leave and i tell haters to die

last yr i didnt know how to defend myself. now i have nearly killed my sister (no joke) and ive caused a couple fights at school.

last yr teachers didnt really know me. this yr..the whole school staff knows my name.

last yr id never press my lips against a bottle of any type of alcohol, now i drink and dont give a damn

last yr id be scared to even try drugs now this yr ive smoked weed im addicted to cigarettes smoked hash and pope and have taken some random pills i bought off a friend.

last yr id never have blown off class…this yr ive skipped class more then ive showed up

last yr id never swear to a teacher..this yr i told a teacher to suck his dick

last yr i didnt give a shit what i look like…now my hair must be done and my makeup has to be black.

last yr i never got into too much trouble…ive had 6 suspensions and 15 detentions and one saturday school

last yr and before then i swore id never lose my virginity til marriage now i have had sex several times

last yr i didnt think id wanna meet anyone i met online..instead this yr i sneak out to hook up with guys i find off the internet.

theres more to this but still ive changed a lot and all thru this ive tried suicide and dealt with my crazy shit family. ive changed so much but i look happy..why wouldnt i be happy? i seem to have whats classified as a “cool kids life” where i live but im not happy i may be popular and do some bad/illegal shit..but im still breaking on the inside. everything has changed.

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AtTheEnd 4/18/2013 - 9:29 am

Ah well it seems you have fallen quite far into the abyss. Doubt i’d recognize that girl I knew back then. Well people change.

fakingit 4/18/2013 - 11:38 pm

yeah…kinda scary but at the same time i sorta like who i am now in a way..

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