How to feel?

It’s amazing how you feel when you finally find that one person who completes you. When the two of you have everything in common, and are almost inseparable. Then one of you changes and you two start to drift apart, then one bad mistake later and you never talk to each other again. Then you find out that she is now dating your former best friend. It is drama, I no longer keep in touch with anyone from my past due to the fact that I’m in so much pain because of it. It’s been over a year since I’ve last seen her, and although I am over her, it just sucks to know that I will never feel the same way about another girl. I’ve moved on long ago and met some really amazing people , but I just don’t feel the same way. I would give anything to feel the way I felt the summer of 2010 when I actually fell in love. That was the absolute best feeling in the world, I really regret everything that has happened but I suppose it has made me a stronger person. I was young and stupid, and although I am still young I am a little wiser now. I’ve been in pain every day since we split apart, my world just came crashing down. I went through a very deep depression. I lost almost all of my friends and attempted suicide a few times. I have grown out of all of that, I have turned my life around and will continue to do so, I just wish the pain would finally go away. I wish her memory, and the memory of how I felt would just be erased from my mind. I want to find that pure love again, but I really don’t think it will happen twice in a life time. I met her in such a pivotal moment of my life that she will be forever engraved in my memory. I just wish I knew where to go from here, and I long for that feeling of “pure” love again. I may spend my entire life searching for it and I may come to realize that it just doesn’t exist. I just want to experience that connection that I once did when I first saw her. I am reminded of that every day when the singer of my band talks about his girlfriend as they share a very similar connection. I thank all who are still reading this for enduring my constant ranting of a lost love and stupid immature drama that I have made my life. Everybody has their own problems, what makes mine any different? I guess I just needed to get this out, I have been holding it in for a while. I hope everybody else finds happiness, pain and constant misery are feelings that no one should have to endure. I hope there is relief and an answer to all of us who feel this way.