I don’t know what to do…

This is my first time posting on here… So I’m alana I’m 15 years old and I’ve been depressed/suidical since about the beginning of 6th grade. I’ve been bullied my whole life being called fat, ugly, *****, ect…. People made me feel like shit and made me cry myself to sleep about every night. I started cutting in seventh grade when I got called fat. Is was the first time . It go worse cause I tried killing myself by choking myself it never worked. 8th grade year I thought would get better but it didn’t I started losing friends , guys pushed me into the walls, I kept getting call names, and my house life wasn’t that good. I kept cutting and trying to kill myself. I’ve never told anyone. My parents don’t even know at all. Now it’s freshmen year and school is ok . But my parents make me feel like crap. They tell me in going to fail at life and I’m a fuck up and how I need to lose weight. Today I’m not eating dinner (just cause I didn’t like what they cooked) but I’ve barely eaten in the pass few days . And I still yelled at for not eating. I’m trying to lose weight and not really eat. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I try so hard to be perfect for EVERYONE. Nothing seems to work. I barley have anyone their to tell me it’s going to be ok. No one really knows and I don’t think anyone would really care if I killed myself . It’s just so hard to stay strong when all I am is depressed and I have all this negativity around me. I just cant wait to leave and start all over again…..