Loser

Even though I am a man, I can relate to your thoughts about your friends having something more than you have and your feelings about yourself. I have the same thoughts and have had them all my life. It seems like if you fit the mold in this society then life is easier. I definitely don’t fit the mold and never really did. One thing I have learned is that what other people think of me doesn’t shape who I am. It took a while to develop this thick skin. But I am glad I did because without it I would be a people pleaser and never really discovering what I am all about and why I am here. Seems like there is always somebody with something more. I get tired of struggling and believe me I have had struggles with my health, my family, my finances and my own self worth. I have tired to commit suicide when I was very young and have had those thoughts throughout my life. But I am still here and like a summer storm, the hard times pass, believe me they do, and the sun comes up again. I am thankful for the little things I do have like being able to walk because I almost lost that not too long ago. At my age, I am thankful for my good health because when I let the stress get to me, I had a lot of health problems. I like turtles because they never look back and sometimes when they get tipped over they need a little help to turn over. Friends have come and gone in my life and I am glad I never completed the suicide attempt. I have seen so many young people who I have known commit suicide and seen how it impacts the families around them. Tomorrow morning the sun will rise and it will be a new day. Don’t focus on the past because we can never change it. Struggles make us stronger like the lone tree facing many strong winds. Over time, it becomes stronger than any tree that is sheltered in a forest.