MY LIFE STORY~~

Im going to start from the beginning.
I never met my dad and I know little about my mothers life.
My mother got addicted to hard drugs in her early teen years and never fixed her life. She had a hard life, she got sexually abused by her dad and had also gotten raped a few times. She had me in her early twenties and when I was born I had Herion and cocaine in my blood. From the time I was born to when I was 7 years old, she had gotten in trouble with the police and also had near death experiences involving drugs. Then when I was 6, I remember sitting in my living room (it was around 2am) watching tv on a blow up pool, while my mom was taking a bath. I went into the bathroom to talk to her and when I was walking out she told me to lock the door. So I went back to watching tv…. Then a little bit after I went in to talk to her, I tried talking to her but she wasn’t responding. So I unlocked the door and found her face down in the bathtub, she wasn’t moving. I saw a syringe floating next to her. After that I ran into grandmas room screaming “moms dead moms dead”. My grandma was drunk like always, but she got up and went into the bathroom then called the police. About 10 minutes later Fire Ambulances, fire trucks and police showed up. The police made me go into my room and wouldn’t let me leave. After they took her away they took me to my front yard and told me I had to go with a lady, I bursted out crying and tried to run and fell on the ground. A police officer grabbed me and put me in the ladies car. From there the lady took me to a Orphanage type of thing and put me in a room with about 10 other kids. I was at the childrens home (Orphanage) for about 2 months until I moved in with my uncle and grandpa in another city (Mom’s Dad who sexually abused her as a kid). It was a bad environment and they treated me like shit, then after awhile of that apparently I was too much for them to handle so they basically gave me to the state. From there I went to a Mexican family’s Foster Home. I don’t remember much of that because they had me on all types of hardcore medications. I lived there for about 6 months then got adopted by a family friend, which I have lived with ever since. So all of that happened in a time span of about a year and a half.

My life has gone down hill since then, I got into drugs and a party life style. Ive gotten kicked out of multiple schools, have also gotten arrested multiple time. Also I in a very depressed state now and i have the depersonalization disorder which feels like everything is fake, I feel like I’m not on the same frequency as the rest of the world, I have a hard time socializing with people and im pushing away close friends and family. Ive felt like this for about 6 months. I feel like my mind is clouded and I cant think straight anymore. I have no idea where my life is going, but im determined to get my life back on track. So if you think you have it bad, just think it could be worse…. Life is fucked up and bad things happen to people that don’t deserve it. The way you feel is determined by your mind set, which you have complete control of. You can pull yourself out of it! So Just sit down and think about it before you deicide to end your life. Because obviously once you do it, there’s no going back.