One Day

One day I will get my happy ever after, but I am so tired of waiting for it to come.  I wanna take everything in to my own hands and have the life that I know I deserve but of coarse I can’t and I wanna know why can’t I have it.  I dated a guy for 10 years, I mean seriously you would think he would be my happy ever after but wrong.  He decided that being a crackhead was more important and I just couldn’t do it anymore I was physically and mentally drained.  1 week after we break up he has a new girlfriend who was a junior in high school, it blew my mind.  2 months later I came home to celebrate my birthday and instead I found my sister, she hung herself in my parents garage.  Literally the last thing I ever expected to happen.

It was not her 1st time, it was the 3rd.  The next 2 weeks were so hard and long.  Burying my sister was the hardest thing I will ever have to do.  Of coarse my ex comes back into the picture and says he wants to be there for me.  In reality he wasn’t.  He made it clear that he just wanted to be a friend to me nothing more and that was ok because I was to vulnerable to have a relationship at that time.  But I couldn’t handle dealing with my sisters death and him.  So we cut all ties.  A few months later I heard he had another new girlfriend and she was pregnant.  Thats what hurts the most is that I feel like I’m drowning and hes on top of the world.

So from that day forward I vowed to have the best life I can for my sister and just sit back and wait for my prince to come.  Now its been a year and I am still waiting.  I just hope one day he comes so I can have someone to connect with since I can’t do it with my sister.