I’ve been feeling some fear lately, and some anxiety too.  I quit my job recently, I had too, it was only going to get worse.  I have some savings to live on, but I don’t know where I go from here.  My brain is damaged, it doesn’t work right, and you can read my first post if you want the details, but basically I did it under the influence of drugs a long time ago and things have gotten progressively worse over the last few years.  Many hospitalizations, a lot of suicidal times.  Lately, I haven’t really gone there, I’m much more curious as to what’s going to happen if I stay alive.  I don’t feel like I can function well enough to take care of myself and just a while ago I asked myself, what would I do if  “I had no pressure.”  Kind of like, “What would I do if I won the lottery?”  Even if my landscape was devoid of stress…I don’t know.  I don’t feel alive.
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i understand the feeling of wanting to disappear. Be patient with your self and distract you mind into some thing any thing looking at every thing u can discover that would keep you interested and keep digging until you seek what your seeking you self try self obedience focusing your mind to extreme limits and see where you go look for nature go out there and leave every one behind on a journey we as humanity all owe that to our self’s to reach out and do something in awe be one with nature peace out and shit eat more live things bring a lot of beautiful colors into your life and see what happen’s it cant hurt to try eh u know what try ayahuasca tea try that at least once in your life before changing your destination route trust me you ve never known anything like this vine before seriously