How do you live when you feel like nothing exists? Like everything is really pointless because were all going to die anyway. Feeling like life has to be a joke…that things cant possibly work like this. Nothing ever lasts, every moment has already passed and theres not a thing you can do to get it back. And it all hurts so bad…that the very short moments you have…your sickness wont even let you enjoy, so you feel your just living to suffer, living just to hurt. Feeling like life has to be a joke that theres no way that your so alone with billions of others out there. No way your so ugly. No way you cant get people to understand you. No way your the “crazy person.” But somehow you find yourself alone..crying in the dark cutting open your skin just to see if this is real, that your alive,that this isnt a joke. Somehow you find yourself still waiting for your “happy moment” that never comes. Waiting for the joke to be over so maybe you can laugh, no matter how sick it is…waiting for someone to pull the curtains and let your real life begin.
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4 comments
Well… non-existence does indeed exist. But just because we are temporary beings, that doesn’t mean we “don’t exist.”
Life isn’t about “lasting,” it’s about the balance of living in the moment versus planning for the future, and executing plans. It’s about making the most of your time.
But yeah… that’s a good question: How indeed do we live well, without the illusions that most people live by?
I bet the answer to that question could help a lot of people.
I wish I knew …
If you knew who the author of your life’s novel was, would you ask him how your story unfolds? If he only told you a little bit at a time would you listen? We are assured of the ending and that we all die when our time comes and chapters that have been written cannot be changed. No matter how sad, hurtful or filled with suffering they may be. But our stories aren’t over yet. We have yet to finish our novels. There is an author that knows about our stories. Each and every one of them. It is our choice whether we ask him about our stories and humble ourselves to listen about what he has planned for us. Endings that we can never have imagined ourselves because we have been within ourselves for too long, looking at the past and thinking that is our future. Focusing on darkness and missing the light. Making our plans and doing things our way and missing out on the authors plan to a story that could be filled with love, joy and happiness. No rejection, no hurt but only acceptance, healing and peace. Would you ask the author if you could?
Thank you.