I’ve failed again,Please someone get me out of here.In that moment I have not had enough courage.I’m still questioning myself : How could I be such a fool?
I believed in everything, promises, love, and also that my life would get better, I really did.
God just seem to cross his arms and turn his back,and I won’t struggle,I refuse to make any effort,I refuse to give the first step.
I wish I were brave to proceed.because I finally found love,a lovely guy,he loves me,and we make cute gay couple,unfortunately his love isn’t enough to make me wanna live.Damn, being alive is like punishment for me,and yes,I do regret.
I so confused,upset,sad,my head is spinning.
God is playing with me,testing me,I’ll fall again…
1 comment
“I believed in everything, promises, love, and also that my life would get better, I really did.
God just seem to cross his arms and turn his back…”
How ironic. You turn your back on all that is real, and then imagine that your imaginary creator has turned his back on you.
You stop believing in what exists, only to cling to the one thing in that list that actually doesn’t. That’s the foolish part.
Promises, Love, Self-Improvement, all of those things do exist. They are as real as the pain caused by their loss and absence. That pain you’re feeling right now.
It’s not a test. It’s not a divine game. It’s just life, the way humans have evolved (using the term loosely) to be.
Rely on yourself. Evaluate what is possible to improve, what you like least about yourself that can be changed, and mold yourself into something closer to what you want to be.
If you feel foolish, then become more alert and aware, and learn to better understand yourself, others, and your environment. Then you won’t feel like a fool anymore.
If you want to believe life will get better, then furiously, with all your might, make it get better. And then you will believe that it can.