As the title suggests this will be only my second but final post… ive struggled with suicide, depression, anxiety, and anger for too long now. tonight is is the night I have nothing to stop me. I wish it was night already so I could get this over with cause i cant stand feeling this way any longer. got drunk and pissed my one and only friend off last night…for the bes that way she wont care about me passing…even if it does im done caring i told her several occasions that im no good for her…this will be practically a year from my last suicide attempt that she stopped…i dont really even know why im bothering to type this all out…not like i want someone to comment and try and talk me out of it…ive already read all the websites got it all planned out…just a matter of time now…. i always told myself i was just another statistic…they say suicide is the third leading cause of death for teenagers….in just a few hours ill happily be part of that.
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16 comments
Not to “guilt trip” you or anything, but even if she is pissed at you, she will care. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be pissed. She’ll be haunted by the fact that the two of you had a falling out, right before you ended it. I suppose you’ve considered this, and maybe you care or don’t, or maybe you’re mad that she’s mad at you…
But suicide isn’t the issue here. The issue is the way people treat each other in this world. The issue is the typical values and behaviors of most people, and how they are taught to form them, and the fact that the system is built to perpetuate itself in such ways.
The real issue is why it’s so bad for so many, not just how it ends, or that it’s chosen.
My recommendation is to stick it out and think more… but whether you listen is not up to me… or anyone else, for that matter.
I think you should post more of your thoughts before you decide what to do.
ive already decided its a done deal tonight i cant confront my friend cause she will stop me like she did last time but ill leave a note for her…i know it will hurt her but thats not enough too stop me anymore ik she will move on she is strong… as far as posting more of my thoughts fuck that ive been a prisoner of my own thoughts for years now no one cares or will understand im a piece of shit but not for much longer…ive already thrown my life away when i left college my life has only derailed farther since then… tonight is my time.
Don’t even try, it’s not going to work. Trust me lets just say you come back tomorrow and tell us how your feeling then? Your here at SP for a reason, you can’t just give up now. Honestly if I were you I’d become a crazy drug party freak before killing myself. You have to be able to form some kind of conviction to be more in life and do more in this life. What if dropping out was the start of something better? It happens right?
I can’t really say I know the worst parts about you, but I do know that you were able to attend college, so that has to mean you can pretty much do anything…And stretch your mind past all this. It can’t be out of your reach? Am I wrong?
it is out of reach im not comming back tomorrow i dropped out of college coming up on a year now and still dont have a job im a fuck up… but you do intrigue me though why do you comment you comment on a lot of peoples stuff…why do you give a shit…?
nah man. dont do it. you still have got your whole life ahead of you. i dont know you from a hole in the wall but i give a shit. i give a lot of shits. so much shits my pants are brown now. trust. you got this. Lace the FUCK UP and take life on like a boss. I feel like you’re a really creative person. you have musical talents. you’re also a smart cookie. i can feel this shit. give me another day. tomorrow if you feel just as intense. give me a week. lol. but i know what feeling hopeless feels like. i feel it daily. just keep getting back up. (:
Why do any of us keep coming back? There are many others that have been here for years. Much longer than me. They are watching right now. We all help each other in a way, by caring. By suggesting alternatives. Because we have been there, and seen lots of our friends and family die away. We’ve seen how fucked up life and the world can be. We’ve all seen our own little piece of hell. It’s hard, I know. And it really sucks.
But life isn’t suppose to be easy, what the hell are you running from? Stand and fight for your own life! You’re telling me your life isn’t worth trying till the end? Die trying..like we all try to do. It hurts I know. Like I said..I’ve been there. And I’m here because these people help me deal with my own anger and frustration, because they are the only ones who understand.
You should teach us more about what makes us all human by staying for a while, and telling us more about you and your view points..and try TRY your hardest to improve the things that are wrong with your life.
Like I said, I don’t know your whole story. I’m just trying my best here..from the bottom of my heart
@ killswitchon.. im not creative or musically inclined at all so stop it.
@ RealTalk30 i appreciate what your trying to do… but move on cause im done trying cause i have tried and failed every time i couldnt list one thing i succeeded at but i could list for days all ive done wrong…i dont want to die trying cause i never asked to be born i never asked to have this shitty life but i am going to take myself out of it…you seem like a great person i wish i knew more people like you but this is where it ends. judge me if you want im so beaten down i dont care
No, I’m sorry. And I won’t judge you. I know your hurting.
Your friend sounds like she loves you like i love my best guy friend and that is to the moon and back and you sound like you love her and honest thats a reason to live right there if not for your self for that girl who loves you and would do anything for you and is most definitely thinking about you at this very moment i honestly feel bad for her because if i figured out my best guy friend past i would die guys think so differently from girls were you think she is pist at you she most definitely is not to prove my point text her and tell her what your planning to do she will be devastated and callel you screaming at you and probably rush over there you have so much to live for you just dont even know it you dont know it because you haven’t gotten there yet but stifk around and stay a while bet your whole outlook on the world changes (: im here if you wanna talk im only 16 but it could help
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life. Looking at the barrel of an Armalite. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days. Keeping out of trouble like the soldiers say. I don’t want to spend my time in hell. Looking at the walls of a prison cell. I don’t ever want to play the part of a statistic on a government chart.
-The police “invisible Sun”
God I love these vibes you’re emitting tonight 😀
And @afraidandlost, calm your mind. A lot of people who post here have an insane amount of life experience and I would recommend you absorb some of the words. Only you can choose if you want an attitude adjustment. One can never go wrong with an attitude adjustment.
oh that was @killswitch.
Killswitchon is calm and collected! And wise!
@AFRAID of course you are creative. everybody is creative in their own way. you gotta believe it to activate first tho. (:
@noodle Im a vibin im a vibin!!! *mexican accent*