I am on seaside with my family.Only my mom saw my cuts on legs and arms but she didnt tell father,i told her not to.Because i promised her that i stopped self harm.And i did stop but the will is still here.I ignore it.I have bf ,and fisrt time in life i think love does exist.I love him,he loves me,our love is strong,he keeps me alive,he is giving me reason to live .He kisses scars on my skin,he try really hard to help me.
But today i snapped.I just broke.I run to the sea ,jump in in,and tried to drown myself .Nobody was watching,i could do it easily.I had some kind of attack.I was crying,shivering,i couldnt breath.I went deeper and deeper all i saw was my death and i was wishing for it but my mom came and called me to the coast and then it got even more worse she asked what happened i said nothing but she was persistent.Instead od giving me a hug or anything,she starter screaming and shouting on me,like,why are you doing this to me ,why ,i will die like this ,stop it…SHE DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT MY CONDITION.
however,i found some pills,so im taking them,i think they will only give me deep sleep,so,if i survive,ill read your coments,if not,STAY STRONG AND I LOVE YOU ALL.
Love to all.Tijana. And sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes,i wrote it in hurry