It is summer and i feel like i am the only one not enjoying it. I can’t even express myself properly, everyone seems to be going in right direction, achieving something in their precious lives. I am always holding hands with misery, like i don’t know how to let go. I failed so many things this year. Also everything i was building and everything that was good just fell apart and now it looks like it never existed. I am terribly exhausted and i don’t even feel human anymore, more like just doing things because i am supposed to, because this is expected from me. […]
July 2013
If Anybody Out There Is Feeling Alone, Suicidal, Helpless.. Contact #BeAFriend We’re Here To Help.
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Lean On Us For A BETTER Tomorrow (:
I know what people will say, “you shouldn’t have done that”. I am very well aware and very regretful that I loved and trusted someone who would do this to me. It’s gotten to the point where some of my friends were sent those pictures from fake profiles, and my little brother was sent them as well. I am extremely depressed, embarrassed and afraid. He put all my information linked to the pictures so I’m getting harassed. This was someone i loved and trusted. Â We hurt each other a lot but I never cheated on him or anything of the sort. For the first time […]
I’ve finally defeated my demon that’s haunted my life for the past 6 years. Not only have I defeated this demon that once controlled my life but I have found a reason to live, not only have I found a reason to live but I’m finally happy with my life. Although I can still feel it’s presence, I feel it  fading away day after day. This demons’ chains can no longer bring me down to it’s living hell, not even on lonely days. Loneliness has always haunted my life. But I’ve finally learned how to live with it. I realized that there’s lots of souls […]
I find myself avertedly stuck in a pit of lonely. The waning moon cutting a crescent in the sky, seemed to be cutting a crescent in my soul.
I sat sprawled out on the steps, of yet another abandoned house i have claimed lazily dragging on a cigarette. i couldn’t help but wonder if someone would come through and pull me out of this pit.
i flicked the ashes off the end of my cigarette, i watched the embers burning a cherry red. It always seemed to be the same.
i laughed humorously under my breath ” we are brought into this world by another […]
There is an ache inside of me.
A feeling of being defeated by a nasty opponent. A feeling that can usually be stuffed back down, ignored or medicated. The ache is not only the sadness I feel for this screwed up world, but also the apathy that is felt as well.
I was not made for this world…
This world is an ugly, merciless place, full of hate. This world has bred a society rich in ignorance. I cannot count the times I have uttered the words “I really do hate people.” I hate people because of the way they hate each other. Their ugliness makes me take […]
I’m still hanging on, pushing on through this pain. Doing my best to keep myself from completely shutting down and giving up… But for what?! To be forgotten about upstairs? I drifted off listening to music, not knowing some important guest’s came over. I would have liked to at least try and socialize, to be able to tell myself at least I made a little progress. But.. I was forgotten about, not a huge surprise!
… But the most painful thing was that, when I pulled out my ear-buds, was that I could hear laughter… I haven’t laughed like that in a very […]
I don’t know anymore.
I don’t even want to know.
Knowledge is painful.
Ignorance is bliss.
Its an ugly truth that I’m too
all the progress i made and for what? to end up in the same way worse mental state and all allone again. how many times am i supposed to go before i just give up? thatys all they think i’m capable of anyways. its all i know how to do. and the one thing that i need to change to possibbly have a chance a something better i am not willing to do. Â he’s the only one to ever really love me and if es in the streets ill be right there with him. he said he was going to change and i dont want […]
It’s funny how life itself, all your self created concepts, all that happens around you, all that the sheep follow, slowly cuts into your spine.
Overs the years i’ve come to grow up, i’m only 16, and i feel like all this self created despair is too much for me.
My entire life up until now i’ve been fat, obese as a kid, decreasing as a teenager.
It’s not nice to say the least, when you realise that this little factor, being… fat, conditions your entire life in a chain of events affected by your  mind and society itself.
How? You wonder, it’s simple.
When i was a baby i […]
uSo this may be a Long story. Im 15 Nd Im n Foster care. Its been about 2 years I was put in the system because of abuse. My mom is a lesbian Nd her girlfriend physically abused me. My mom even would help. Ive been to sheppard pratt Nd brook lane mental hospitals. Ive been on zoloft trazedone melatonin tenex celexa seraquil lexapro doxipin and respidol. Different mixtures of antidepressants anxiety sleeping Nd antiphyscotic drugs. Im not crazy tho. I feel Like my life is falling apart Nd Noone can help me. I absoluly haré my life n I dont know what to do. […]
These past few days have been bad for me, I’ve felt suicidal and I don’t want to be here anymore I’m so tired usually I can come up with a plan to keep occupied but right now my mind is blank,I’m on summer vacation so it’s supposed to be fun and I had so much that I wanted to do but I don’t know what to do I’m very tired and I wish I had the energy to start doing things.
I posted here a few months ago, but I forgot what username and email I used.
I have had difficult to diagnose health problems for a long time. Â Due to a long list of symptoms, the 20+ doctors I’ve consulted over the years either don’t want to attempt a diagnosis due to the complexity of my poor health, or I have been misdiagnosed and given treatments that don’t provide relief, much less a cure. Â My symptoms correspond to stone-producing kidney disease, chronic fatigue, and Lyme disease. Â I may also have lupus, and/or multiple sclerosis, and/or rheumatic arthritis. Â Maybe even fibromyalgia. Â My quality of life for the […]
I’ve spent the last 2 years wishing for my end. I’m in my late 40’s and find it unbelievable that it’s taken this long for me to realize that I’ve never been happy. I’m fairly certain that I will not do it because I just could never do such a thing to my child who I love so very dearly. My child saves my life on a daily basis. My problem is that I don’t want to be saved. I really want the pain to end today, but it won’t. My strength to hold will inevitably fade. I pray not to wake up tomorrow and […]
i don’t deserve this gift of life. all i do is damage everything that gets in radius of me. i’m weak and disgusting and deserve to suffer. i’m useless and a hinderance. to describe my existance i’ll say imma lech living off a host. good thing imma organ donor, probably someone more deserving can have them. lolsz.
I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.
I’m sorry for all the time’s you’ve cut. I’m sorry for all the pain you’ve felt. I’m sorry for all that’s ever happened to you.
What would I know about pain, about anything? I’m only 13. Just a girl who has no idea what life is. But then I accidentally got onto this website, and I read.
I read from 8 pm to 4 am, all the suffering and loss and bullying. I’m young, and innocent, but that innocence is now mixed with a knowledge that we live in a paradise surrounded by thin glass walls, and behind those walls are your […]
I cope with situations through humour, usually in the form of offensive jokes about that which is too painful to truly think about. As a result, I make a lot of suicide jokes, partly because doing so slightly lightens the heaviness of the past darkness that almost took me and partly because it’s a way to talk about it without really talking about it, you know? Sort of gets my past and sometimes also present thoughts out of my system sometimes, turning the thoughts into laughter with my closest sort-of friend, who also likes to joke about the worst things in the world. Laughing about […]
I hate eating…. My family is so poor and my mother is trying to save alittle money… It feels so wrong eating , or wanting things,……my mom is so irresponsible …we wants me to have every thing a normal high school senoir should have and want……but it’s retarded for me to think about such things like prom or senoir trip of a class ring……but my mom is dead set on it……..I don’t think I can do those things….prom will proably cost 900 dollars, senoir trip will proably 1000 dollars , and my senoir fees will proably be over 300 dallors ……………..I don’t want my family […]
It’s been 8 years since my husband died and no matter what I do or what I try I just can’t move forward… For 8 years I’ve been trying to move on and put my life back together, but no matter how hard I try I find myself back at square one… I’m starting feel like I’m living on a snakes and ladders board!! For the last six months I thought I’d cracked it, and although it was bit scary I felt I was finally moving forward… THEN I got a letter from the tax man that I owe money..money that there adding daily interest […]