Well, isn’t this great. Just when my suicidal thoughts start to lessen, i start having homocidal ones. Last night I was looking at my little 5-year-old brother, who I love and adore. And then I started laughing like a freaking maniac. I didn’t know why I did. It just felt so good to laugh. I realised later why I laughed so demonically. It was because I wanted to kill him. I wanted to slit his throat. I don’t want to kill him, or anyone, for that matter now. I don’t know why…it was like I wasn’t even in control of myself. I just don’t know what to do. Would it help to just go ahead and kill myself now, before I get dangerous to the people I love? My dad’s already told me that if I can’t handle everything, I should commit suicide. And he doesn’t even know I want to. It seems like everything I built up is falling down. Everyone I love, turning against me. I can’t take it. It’s horrible. Something’s got to change. Does anybody know what the heck’s going on? Can anyone help?
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my best guess is your mind is playing tricks on you. it’s so angry that it’s suffering, that it’s starting to think violent thoughts instead of suicidal ones because it feels trapped. have you tried releasing it somehow? smashing bottles against a wall used to help me
yeah, that makes sense. it hasn’t happened again since (that bad), and the suicidal ones are back, so maybe i’ll be back to normal soon. i burned my hand last night and that helped
It happens sometimes to depressed people. It’s just another method the mind uses to try and escape its suffering. The best thing you can do is remember that you aren’t really a bad person; otherwise, you’ll begin indulging in those bad thoughts.
I hope that writing your thoughts down and sharing them was helpful. I think it’s always a good idea. It seems to help me get rid of troubling thoughts. Particularly the repetitive ones.
I think the fact you’re upset & bothered by your thoughts, means you’ll tend to think before you act. It doesn’t reflect negatively on you as a person.
Thoughts are just that: thoughts.
Take care.
Thanks for the help, guys. I don’t think I’ll act on them soon, but it feels like I’m watching a movie when it happens..like it’s not me. Writing them down did help. You guys take care too (:
Hey I get thoes thoughts too.
I thought thoes were just me, but apparently others have them too.
Wanna talk email me.
brl.cents@gmail.com
kk i’ll try 2 email you but mine’s down right now. its nice know im not the only one