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boredom

by blackandblue

before , I would always say that I was bored doing something from time to time .looking back from now I realize that I diddnt know a thing about being bored.now in my current life I am always bored…its kind of difficut to explain. I am emotionally numb except for those weird moments where I feel sadness.sometimes I feel so sad that I want to cry but I cant. I cant cry, most of my laughter is false and other emotions just arent there.without my emotions ,I am just a soulless body and that is why my current life is so damn boring. I wake up and I see the same things and feel the same way about them. on the rare occasion I do something different , I don’t get surprised it really like I am a soulless body.
being this bored and boring is starting to take a toll on me I always thought about suicide as a way to escape this boredom. like many others ,I tried to cut myself before.I actually felt like I was existing. for once I felt scared and pussied out of harming myself completely. the knife left a few scratches. after that all I feel is fear for the future( my life is a lot more complicated than this) along with my numbness. nowadays, I just fall in and out of depression. its stressing. I’m too young for this.

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anon2908720598 8/21/2013 - 9:23 pm

i know how you feel. you’re not alone. i feel too young to be depressed as well. and i’m pretty sure 110% of my stress and anxiety is from school.
my life is boring too. same old routine, blah blah. i feel like i’m never going to get anywhere in life. i would kill to just disappear and start over in a new place.
please, don’t cut yourself. i’ve cut myself before, and i regret it. trust me. cutting may make you relive the pain, but in the long run, it’s not worth it.
i hope things get better for you. just give it time.

blackandblue 8/22/2013 - 4:00 am

thank you so much .today you have given me hope that this time in my life will pass by
the real issue is that I am tired of waiting. if you say cutting is not worth it then I wont try to harm myself..
thank you for hearing me out

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